Do You Listen To Understand or Simply Respond

How many times have you been a part of a discussion in which many details are given and afterwards every member of your team that was a part of the discussion came away hearing different things. It's human nature really, nobody can be expected to catalog and remember every word that was uttered in a meeting, however it is in the details where the majority of the answers can be found. Whether it is the answer to solving a real life problem or preparing a proposal for a client that meets their needs and wins every time, the answers are in the details.

Words have meaning, and usually the words people use reflect their emotion, wishes, intent, fears and aspirations in any given conversation. This is especially true when the people that are involved in the conversation are comfortable with each other, their guard is down and they feel relaxed. It is in our ability to pay attention to the details that will set us apart from our competition in the market and earn us the reputation as a valued partner that anticipates our customers needs. The ability to truly listen also gives you the ability to discover the the real motives beyond most decisions, either internal or with customers.

Most people don't listen to understand, they simply listen in order to respond. This is a very bad habit that causes people to miss and skip over important details that can make a huge difference. Someone once said "If you listen and allow yourself to hear, a man will tell you his bad intentions directly" This is so true, how many times have you had a situation go bad and you faintly remember having a feeling that it might go bad. You can't put your finger on it but you have the feeling none the less, it's in the words they use during your interaction.

In customer situations, it is the job of the sales team and executive team to get the customer talking and keep them talking. Gone are the days of the long PowerPoint presentations that dominate customer meetings and put everyone to sleep. If you are in a meeting and everyone from the customer side is looking at their phones or checking email then you have lost them, they have no interest in what you are saying and hope the meeting will end soon. On the other hand, if you customer is doing all of the talking then they are engaged and not diverted by their phone or email.

Of course this requires you to be prepared when entering a meeting, knowing the questions you are going to ask and how you are going to engage the client. We have two ears and one mouth for a reason, meaning we should do twice the listening as we have twice the hardware just for that purpose. When you are preparing for a meeting it is critical that you know what outcome you would like before entering the meeting. This way you can craft the correct questions, the trick is you have to listen to the answers when they come.

When you are doing the listening you end up learning more than you ever could by talking. If you are the smartest person in the room your challenge is to sit quiet and listen and talk little. Save your smarts and expertise for the proposal and showing the customer how much you understand about their particular needs. This will go a lot further and draw them closer to you more than any intellectual diatribe you could launch into.

It is a tired cliche but an ultimately true one "Customers don't care how much you know until they know how much you care" When you take the time to actually listen to your clients you can't help but to care about their wishes and provide the best you can in all of your dealings.