Do You Listen with the Intent to Understand, or with the Intent to Reply?
Domonique Gratteri
Principal Recruiter @ LHH | Connecting Top Talent with Leading Companies
I heard the saying “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply” the other day, and since then, I have been replaying it in my head. The timing was a bit ironic, as I read a few articles on Communication last week, all with the underlying theme of inspiring others through our communication. I had never thought about listening as a form of communication before, so this truly got me thinking. Who doesn’t want to leave every conversation, whether with a peer or manager, feeling like they grew both professionally and personally? Most of all, we want to walk away from daily conversations feeling positive and like our goal was achieved.
So, what is the magic formula for this? It may be different for everyone, and that is why the subject of communication is so complicated! Being in the Recruiting industry, we speak to 100’s of individuals a week, including clients, candidates, and internal colleagues. Communication is the key to our business---so how do we master that? In the article “Simply Said”, Sullivan states: “If you want the trust and respect of those around you…and to be known as a strong leader, build a reputation for yourself as a good listener”. This resonated with me, because in our fast-paced industry, we tend to move from task to task, and at times, assume we know what we are doing. What would happen if we slowed down, and listened to both our co -workers and our candidates more? In “How to Say It for First-Time Managers”, Griffin states that “Effective communication requires active listening”. This includes body language, and sometimes putting down our laptop or cellphone, to fully engage in conversations in the workplace.
So, do you listen to reply to listen to understand? How do we maintain successful communication? There is no magic formula, but I am challenging myself, and you, to try to actively listen more, and see if you might have more success in your daily communication. At the very least, I bet we will all learn something new.
Vice President, Human Resources Business Partner at Adecco Group
5 年Great post! It's amazing, but listening really does take practice, doesn't it? We're all so used to multi-tasking, and we even do it when we're having a conversation with someone--whether we're looking at our computers or cellphones, thinking about that next meeting, or planning our response. How much do we miss every day because it's so hard to master just being "in the moment?" Thanks for sharing!
Commercial Facility and Property Management
5 年Some yoga instructors will tell you that Westerners are culturally hardwired to listen with the intent to reply instead of comprehend. A byproduct of this habit is our autonomic reflex / response of pressing our tongue to the roof of our mouth while listening. I try to maintain an awareness of this, which in turn reminds me to be a more active listener. Food for thought.
Manager, HR Business Partner at The Adecco Group
5 年Listening is probably the most underrated skill, but so very important.? We should all challenge ourselves to be more of an active listener!? Thank you for sharing!
Marketing/Communications and Sales Graduate From Washington State University
5 年Thank you for sharing — I will never forget my first communication studies class in college where my instructor ingrained in us the importance of listening!