Do you like giving feedback or receiving feedback?
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Do you like giving feedback or receiving feedback?

This question stumped me recently!

If you are a manager or a leader, how would you respond to this query?

Chances are that giving feedback may roll off the tongue more easily! Receiving feedback becomes more challenging for various reasons. Let’s dwell deeper.

The term feedback carries a bundle of emotions, very often negative – fear, anxiety, anger, sadness, resentment and self-loathing. Almost like an unwelcome visitor whom you are keen to avoid!

Why does feedback cause so much distress?

For one, feedback is seen as a difficult and intimidating conversation, mostly to highlight failures and put the other person on the defensive. For the recipient, it seems like a threat to their identity and self-belief. A one-way conversation designed to decimate morale! Our negativity bias exaggerates it even more.

This is where the term needs a reframe. Here is a good one from Tamra Chandler and Laura Grealish in their book Feedback (and Other Dirty Words): Why We Fear It, How to Fix It.

“Feedback is clear and specific information that’s sought or extended for the sole intention of helping individuals or groups improve, grow, or advance”

Three key things stand out from this definition:

1.???? ‘Clear and Specific information’- Feedback needs to be based on facts and should not be vague and judgmental

2.???? ‘Sole intention of helping’- No agenda of ‘fixing blame’ and criticizing individuals or performance, rather trusting and supporting people

3.???? ‘Improve, grow or advance’- Emphasis on moving forward and empowering individuals and teams to become better versions of themselves

Clearly there is huge gap between the intent behind feedback and the actual experience of giving and receiving it.

How do we bridge this gap?

The answer for me lies in having ‘personal accountability in the course of feedback’

-?Appreciating that giving feedback vests power in yourself to create positive change in individuals or teams. And that power comes with responsibility to use it well, without succumbing to self-serving agendas.

-?For the receiver it means acknowledging that feedback supports a growth mindset by encouraging openness to new learnings. Not seeing it as an indictment, rather an opportunity for improvement.

Important to remember for leaders wanting to build their executive presence, that feedback is intended to be empowering not undermining. Building skills, both in giving and receiving feedback, can go a long way in boosting your confidence and influence.

Connect with me on DM or call on +919820753383 to know more about building your powerful executive presence.

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Jaspreet Kaur

Founder@Minerva, a Membership Based Exclusive Networking Club for Senior Professionals & Business Owners | Personal Brand Consultant, Soft Skills Trainer | Trained 1000 Plus Executive MBA Students to ace Interviews

10 个月

Rajesh Gangwani …. Yes you are right. There is no other way of growing in life than working on peripheral feedback if taken in the right spirit

Loly Vadassery

CHRO | ICF -PCC l Leadership Coach | NLP Practitioner | Certified Independent Director l HR Thought Leader l DEI Leader Talks about # conscious leadership # coaching #talent engagement # culture #future of work #DEI

10 个月

Love the Warren Buffet quote ! Always believed that people who genuinely care about you give you feedback and it’s priceless when you think of it as a gift ??

Andreas J?lminger

Helping People Feel Better, Find Purpose & Live Happier Lives | Mind Coaching Group Sweden

10 个月

I'm the trusted advisor and gift giver. Feedback is key ;) Rajesh Gangwani

You're spot on! Feedback is undeniably invaluable, serving as a catalyst for personal and professional advancement. Whether in the role of trusted confidant or recipient, being receptive to feedback fosters growth and development. ?? ?? ??

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