Do you know what you’re thinking?

My son just left New Zealand. He and his partner have moved to the UK for three years.?

If you're a parent, you know that your children are like accelerants to your emotional states. Prior to having kids, I never knew that joy had such heights. After having my cherubs I had never been as frustrated, angry or annoyed. I say this in a loving way because these extreme emotions have only made my life richer.

Having a child go to school for the first time, leave home and now leave the country, are all emotional points in time. Being aware of what's happening in the moment opens the door to new perspectives.

It has only been around 5 years since I’ve seen the difference between being a character in the story book called my life, versus being the reader of this book. I remember vividly watching each of my children go to school for the first time. I was a character in my book at the time and I felt the success of my children’s ability to do well at school was directly related to the source of my happiness or dilemma.

Saying goodbye to my son at the airport was just as vivid and obviously emotional. However, being able to look at myself experiencing this moment helped me see the source of these emotions. I was feeling both excited for him, starting a new adventure, and also a strong sadness. Not to be morbid, but I wondered about where the sadness was coming from. I could have just assumed it was because I wouldn’t see my son in person, give him a hug or what you’d typically expect, but I was wondering why this was overpowering my excitement. I’d much prefer to be excited than sad.

When I got home from the airport there was still a bit of tidying up to do. It was while I was doing this mundane task that I realised, this is the same activity I did for other people in my life after they’d died. Getting rid of their belongings, donating old clothes, selling furniture, etc. Was I unconsciously associating these past experiences and getting them mixed up with this one? As soon as I had this realisation, my connection to the sadness fell away.

I’ve mentioned a couple of times that we feel the results of our thinking and if you’ve been on my program you already know this. But when our thinking is not front-of-mind it’s a lot harder to understand why we’re having those feelings but you’re still having thoughts, maybe buried in the back of your mind.?

Having strong emotions makes for a great life story and they’re also great growth opportunities. When you’re next going through one of these, remember you are the reader of your book and can wonder about the source of these feelings for the characters you’re watching. You might not get an answer straight away but having that distance opens the door.?

Enjoy,

Tim.