Do you know what ASSUMING does to your life?
I have always only found in my life that when I ASSUME things, I usually end up either 1)confused 2)stressed or 3)angry. There are probably many other variations of those things I have also felt, but it all comes from assuming.
Assuming is me thinking I understand everything and knowing what you mean when you say something. Or assuming I understand the world enough to decide how to process the world around me.
It all comes down to me not being open minded and curious to find out more, to ask more questions, and to get really clear on what you said or what's going on.
Tell me if you can relate to this: You message someone and they don't message back. And you try again, and then nothing. When this happens to me, many times I get offended. Why am I being ignored? What did I do wrong? What's wrong with THEM?
Or when you ask someone for something and they respond in the negative. We can get offended and hurt. But maybe there was no offense here?
Or, and this happens many times by me, when I recieve a vague message I can't understand. I can get angry and frustrated and not know what to do. Or I can simply ask for clarification. Or even better, REALIZE that autocorrect totally hacked this message and they didn't realize before hitting send!
There are countless daily examples of this. But what can be done is when I open my mind and I stop assuming. Anytime I am triggered by something, there is a really big chance that clarification would solve it.
As I am writing this I imagine people commenting all the times this is NOT true. But be careful. A lot of times, even getting smacked in the face or snapped at by your wife, MIGHT not be as bad as you think it might be. There ARE possibilities that this was just one big mistake. (Or in the case of a wife, her hormones and frustration at her day, and NOTHING to do with you.)
Instead of wondering if what I am saying has any truth to it or not, I would like to challenge YOU to start seeing your world differently. How? By not assuming ANYTHING. By noticing your triggers as signs to maybe probe further. To challenge anytime you feel sad, upset, or angry. To look at the thoughts behind that and see if it's possible that clarification can help.