Do You Know How to Listen to Yourself?

Ever have something happen to you that feels like a message or a signal from the universe about a direction or a path you are supposed to take, but you just dismiss it as insignificant or meaningless? 

And the more you dismiss the message, the more the signals get louder and louder, as if an imaginary bat is beating you over the head with a code that you can't quite decipher, but you can feel the painful bumps spreading all over you from the beating? You just keep on ignoring the signals until the bumps are so raw and conspicuous that your rational mind has to pause and figure out how to fend off the beating?

In this post, I want to talk about the notion of listening from a very different vantage point than you'd ordinarily expect. I've written several posts and created videos on how to be a more effective listener. I am confident that you know by now the dramatic impact your full presence and deep listening has on your own learning and on your interpersonal relationships. Listening to others and paying attention to what is going on around you is powerful. What we don't talk a lot about is honing the art of learning to listen to yourself. Your own deep wisdom is talking to you all the time. The problem is you have to learn to recognize the voice and not confuse it with all the other voices that have taken it hostage and claim to be you.

I'll give you an example from a small part of my own self-listening journey to illustrate what I mean.

When I was in first grade, my teacher had everyone in the class draw a picture of what they they wanted to be when they grew up. She then had each student stand up and show the drawing to the class and explain the vision's significance, I remember Jon's fireman with the bright red fire hat, Clara the nurse helping people heal in hospital beds, and even Laura's crown and robe as she explained her desire to be a queen. And while I have few memories of first grade, the picture I drew and what I said that day stands etched in my mind's eye as if it happened yesterday. I wanted to be a "Magic Woman". I remember the somewhat bewildered, amused, and interested look on my teacher's face as I explained what I deemed to be the female version of a magician: "I will have the power to heal people and help them be whatever they want with the touch of my wand." 

When she heard my description, I remember her attempt to fit my description into a more conventional, rational sense, and say something like, "So kind of like a doctor-- someone who helps people get better? To which I defiantly shook my head and answered, "No, not a doctor. I want to help people be whatever they want to be. Not just get over being sick."

There was my vision, clear as day. Yet when I thought back on it, I'd laugh at the childish, silly description of my calling. What was a "Magic Woman" in the real world? I, like my teacher, dismissed it as fantasy and gravitated toward the conventional, rational ways we all do as we contemplate how to make a living and make our way in the world.

It's funny, but over the years, every time I did work that the "Magic Woman" would do, I felt joy. Leading workshops on leadership and human development. Writing. Creating. Healing. Helping. And every time I strayed from that-- climbing the corporate ladder and focusing on title and status, I'd get beaten by the bat-- so badly that my body would actually become physically ill and I'd manifest some sort of physical illness. "Listen", it was crying out to me. "You are straying from yourself."

Even when I started my own business, I didn't listen. I hired an expensive marketing strategist to convince me to do what everyone else is doing. "Create your image. Change your website colors. Give people short lists of things because their attention spans are short. Grow your email list and blast people with your advertisements" I was told. "Give people what they want." Made sense, but it wasn't what the Magic Woman would do. It was the first grade teacher all over again, telling me what I wanted to be was a doctor, when that wasn't it at all. 

So I took some time off and sat with myself and deeply listened. Long walks in nature. Hours staring at the ocean and watching the pelicans dance in unison over my head. I became drunk on the bubbles the waves spouted as they crashed open on the rocks engulfing the cliffs. And I realized that I had not been fully listening to the wisdom already available to me if I stopped long and hard enough to hear it. I am here not to provide "coaching" or 10 tips on how to be a better leader. I am here to help people look inside themselves and find gold.

What about you? 

What do you need to listen to? 

What messages from deep within you are you ignoring? 

What are your body and physical symptoms trying to tell you if you'd only step back and listen?

What voice are you allowing to drown out your deeper wisdom?

Listening to yourself takes courage, because sometimes you may not like what you hear. 

But that's when the magic happens...