Do You Know How to Actively Listen?

Do you find yourself drifting off and losing track of important conversations at times? Conversely, how annoying is it when the person you are having a conversation with is obviously not listening, is constantly butting in and is really only interested in giving their opinion on the subject at hand?

Listening is one of the most important aspects good communication. It can foster self-esteem, both in the speaker and the listener, improve relationships, maximise production in the workplace, the classroom or on the sportsfield and it can also help you become a better speaker. Listening is an active process and following these simple steps will help you improve your listening and communication skills:

• Remember that listening is not only done with your ears, so be observant. Noting the speaker’s body language and their demeanour will help you better understand and evaluate the conversation
• Put your own self-interests aside, including any distractions such as mobile phones, the tv, computer etc
• It’s rude to interrupt the speaker, complete their sentences or react verbally to anything you disagree with or find confronting. Non-verbal responses are fine; nodding or smiling will make the speaker feel respected and their opinion valued
• Stay focused and maintain eye contact - remember that the speaker is constantly reading your body language too, so stay positively engaged
• Try not to be rehearsing your response while the speaker is still engaged - just listen, be empathetic and evaluate and your turn to speak will come soon enough

If you follow these simple steps, when it is your turn to talk you are much more likely be afforded the same respect. Actively engage in the conversation when it’s your turn, by asking questions or paraphrasing points that you are unclear on. Address the main points of the speaker’s message, giving your suggestions or advice succinctly.

The root cause of many arguments in the workplace or at home, can be the failure to fully comprehend the speaker’s actual message, due to poor listening skills. This can result in mis-directed responses, which naturally enough, will be received in a less than positive way and can further inflame an already volatile situation.

Active listening is a sure way to maintain healthy, respectful relationships in all aspects of your life, whether it be as a parent, employer, coach, lover or friend.  Taking control of the listening process will make your opinions and advice sought after, valued and respected and in the process make you a more effective communicator.

Click here to find out how mastering this skill has helped me take control of my life and my financial future.