Do you know a Connector?

In my meetings with CEO’s, executives and business professionals the topic of connectors has recently come up. That got me thinking about what a connector means to me.

We are constantly using words and how we define those words varies from one person to the next. Take for example the word successful. To a guy like Donald Trump the word successful means becoming a president or saying “Your Fired” on TV. To a hungry needy man on the street in NYC it might mean finding a job, having a nice warm home and a meal every day.

When people ask me what a connector is I simply say it depends what you are trying to accomplish. “It depends” is a classic answer. I usually follow up with an example to be more specific. If you are trying to meet Artists a great connector for you would be someone who meets artists all the time. If you are trying to meet CEO’s a great connector might be a business coach or a CPA.

I look at the word connector in a bit of a different way, it's not about what you CAN do, its about what you actually do. Its about what you say and then what you do after that to back that up. 

Being a connector means being a certain type of person.

A friend and CEO of a logistics company recently saw me at a networking event. I met him talking to a CPA friend of mine that referred potential clients to me and also introduced the CPA to a few people. When I approached both of them and greeted them, the CEO of the logistics company reminded me that in May I offered to introduce him to the CEO of a women's apparel brand that has over a dozen stores.

I looked at him and said, Why didnt you remind me via email if you didnt get the intro? I replied because he didn't want to bug me. Well, I told him that I actually made the intro and he didnt see it. He said impossible, how can you remember what you did in May. The CPA looked interested, he was looking to see how I would wiggle out of this one, where is the PROOF?

Simple, I continued. Lets review my sent items on my Gmail and see if the intro was made. I searched in three seconds it pulled up the introduction, I showed it to him and they were both impressed. Look at that, the intro was made and Joe actually followed up.

I told him that there are times that I make commitments and forget to follow up but I try my best to make those introductions. I explained that my philosophy is that both parties need to take responsibility and follow up with each other. Being a connector means being a certain type of person. 

The life of  a connector is not easy but its fun it you enjoy making connections. Watching the world change with the energy you put into it. REAL Connectors are unique and they are hard to come by.

When I meet a connector, I know that they are a connector because of the following 5 things that tends to happen.

1. Thoughtful Questions - Connectors ask questions, not just about your business but about what makes you tick. They are super curious and like to learn things about you. They ask really good questions that get to the bottom of how they can help you.
   
   Usually those questions are enough to get you thinking about what your problem really is without even needing to be connected. Asking questions is a great skill that any person can improve on if they are really interested and make a good effort to constantly ask questions.
   
   
2. Offer To Introduce - If you are able to ask good questions you can then solve great problems. Connectors usually make an offer to introduce you to someone right off the bat, I know someone that can solve your problem. Because they practice making connections, they always have people on the roster that they can introduce you to.
   
   When people come to me and ask me who they can introduce me to, I usually have an answer prepared, I want to me meet marketing consultants that work with brands. They are always in need for digital marketing experts that really know what they are doing. I am confident that once they meet me they will see value in our conversation. Connectors are really specific with their requests.
   
   
3. Deeper Connection - Connectors are not afraid to go deep. They get right to the core of the issue and say things that are not popular. They take social risks and themselves out there. They are like Networking Heros because of the risk they take every time they make a connection.
   
   I have met so many people who hesitate to make introductions because they are afraid that the connection might not work out and they then have to deal with the responsibility if someone gets hurt. Being a connector makes to you connect on a deeper level that allows for those risks.
   
   Connectors know that they need to go deeper and they find ways to go deep quickly. Create a synergy and see if it is accepted. When the connection is accepted its powerful. There is also an allergic reaction if it won’t work, its kind of polarizing.
   
   
4. Quality Vs Quantity Balance - Connectors understand they they are limited with their time, effort and energy and they need to reserve themselves for quality connections. They know the Dunbar law that a person can only really get to know 150 people but they somehow push that limit.
   
   The reason they are able to push that limit is because they focus on their top 50, top 20 and top 5 connections. They spend the right amount of time nurturing those relationships and watching them grow. They learn through trial and error by taking risks and failing in many relationships.
   
   
5. Follow Up Like Mad - This is the most important thing that a connector knows how to do. They have mastered the skill of follow up. They don't just meet and greet, they connect on social media, they research and follow up. They set up meetings and plan to meet at events. They know who they want to spend time with and make sure that they spend them quality time they need to spend with those networking assets.
   
   Follow up is a skill like asking questions, the more you do it, the better you become at it. Most people lack follow up and it's because they didn't realize that they didn't follow up, they forgot about it totally. Follow up is about being proactive, about having a follow up plan. Its about time management and setting up triggers that will allow you to follow up.

Social media is a great tool in the arsenal of the connector. They can use it to stay top of mind with the people that are important to them, they can ask questions, offer to be helpful, create a deeper connection, cut out the fat and follow up by just being present and showing their connections love.

What do you think makes a connector? If you have a connector in your network that you know, tag them in this post, mention them in the comments. Everyone knows at least one connector.

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BIO: Joe Apfelbaum is the CEO and co-founder of digital marketing agency Ajax Union. He is a public speaker, certified Google Trainer, and published business author. Joe enjoys speaking and writing about a broad range of business topics in his seminars, webinars and articles. Joe is a member of the Board of Directors of the Entrepreneurs Organization in Brooklyn, a group with over 11,000 CEO’s and a contributing member of the INC Business Owners Council, a community of the fastest growing companies in the United States. Joe is proud of all his accomplishments, but most of all he is proud of his successful foodie wife and beautiful four kids.