Do you identify as a workaholic?

If you find yourself resonating with more than one of the following, you may be masking an underlying mental illness:

• You’re a workaholic
• You constantly need to stay busy
• You struggle to relax or switch off
• You say “yes” to everything
• You’re a perfectionist
• You frequently pick up others’ workloads

I certainly used to.

For years, I was the quintessential workaholic. I thrived on how much I could juggle, always being “needed.” It made me feel accomplished, valued, and intelligent. I thought this was the pinnacle of being a successful professional adult. But after experiencing significant personal and health events, I came to a different realisation: I had been wrong.

Many workaholics, myself included, feel a constant need to prove their value, and perfectionism becomes a coping mechanism. We overwork to validate ourselves, thinking if we do more or if everything is flawless, we’ll finally feel ‘enough’. But the truth is, no amount of work or achievement can fill that void. This is where the real danger lies — when we tie our self-worth to productivity, we set ourselves up for a cycle of burnout.

I’m not here to tell you to take it easy or stop working hard. In fact, I believe in the power of focus and ruthless prioritisation in every aspect of life. But there’s a critical balance. I often talk about my brain injury because it profoundly reshaped my perspective. Recovering from that experience took years, and even now, 14 years later, I continue to manage the lingering effects. But in hindsight, it was both the most devastating and transformative event in my life. It forced me to see that your health — both physical and mental — is the most important thing, and everything else comes after.

I spent over a decade in this cycle, burning out multiple times. It took a toll on my health — I suffered a stroke in 2018, far too young to be experiencing such a severe event. (You can read more about my journey here )

Unfortunately, my story is all too common. Many people only re-evaluate their priorities after a health scare. But my hope is that you don’t need to reach that point to see what truly matters. The reality is, our bodies and minds aren’t invincible, and they don’t recover as quickly with age. Prioritising your health — mental and physical—should be your number one focus.

So, why do so many of us remain trapped in the cycle of always being busy? Perhaps you’ve said or heard this: “I can’t switch off, it’s just how I am.” The painful truth is, that’s a choice. You can switch off—you just have to be willing to.

The link between workaholism and low self-esteem

If you’re reading this, chances are you identify with the workaholic traits I’ve described. I know the feeling well: the paradox of hating how busy you are, yet panicking at the thought of having nothing to do.

Research has shown that workaholism is often rooted in deeper issues, including low self-esteem. The drive for constant activity or perfection isn’t just about ambition or passion — it’s about trying to soothe feelings of inadequacy.

According to a study : “Workaholism often develops as an attempt to reduce uncomfortable feelings of anxiety and depression… to alleviate negative feelings — and to raise self-esteem”.

For many, perfectionism is intertwined with workaholism. If you’re a perfectionist, you may find that you’re never satisfied with your work, always pushing yourself to do more. But this relentless pursuit of perfection can mask deeper insecurities. It’s not about wanting the work to be excellent — it’s about fearing that you aren’t enough.

Workaholics are significantly more likely to suffer from psychiatric disorders such as anxiety, depression, and ADHD (Source ). The relationship between overworking and mental health challenges is clear, and it often stems from the need to ‘validate’ ourselves in the workplace.

Are you overworking to prove your worth?

Ask yourself:

• Do you feel like you’re never doing enough, no matter how much you achieve?
• Are you constantly seeking validation through your work?
• Does your perfectionism stop you from finishing tasks or make you afraid of mistakes?
• Do you struggle to switch off because you feel like you’re only valuable when you’re being productive?
• Do you feel uneasy when trying to 'relax'?

If any of these resonate with you, it may be time to reconsider your approach to work and self-worth. Recognising these patterns is the first step toward change.

If you’re a manager of a workaholic

Workaholics are often some of your highest-performing employees. They’re the ones always saying ‘yes,’ always taking on more, and staying late to ensure things get done perfectly. But while they may appear to be stellar employees on the surface, their relentless work habits could be a sign that something deeper is going on.

As a manager, it’s crucial to recognise the signs of workaholism and perfectionism in your team and take steps to support them. It may feel counterintuitive, but encouraging your workaholic employees to do less is key to their long-term well-being — and your team’s productivity.

Here’s what you can do:

• Encourage time off – Ensure they take breaks and use their leave. Let them know it’s okay, and even necessary, to recharge.
• Discourage long hours – Reinforce that working late is not a badge of honour. Success doesn’t come from burning out.
• Help them prioritise – Guide them to focus on what truly moves the needle. Let them know that perfect isn’t always necessary.
• Support mental health – Be open about mental health and encourage them to seek help if they need it. Offering resources or even just a listening ear can make all the difference.
• Encourage boundaries - Stop answering / replying to calls and texts after hours.

Breaking the cycle of burnout

Workaholism often feels like a badge of honour in modern professional life, but it’s crucial to understand that overworking isn’t a sign of value. It’s often a reflection of low self-esteem and a desperate need for validation. Recognising this in yourself — or your employees — is the first step toward change.

So, how can you break free from the cycle of burnout?

Here are some practical steps:

• Set boundaries – Establish work hours and stick to them. Create rituals that signal the end of your workday.
• Let go of perfectionism – Accept that perfection is unattainable and that good work is often enough. Mistakes are part of growth.
• Delegate and say no – Resist the urge to take on too much. Prioritise your tasks and say ‘no’ when needed.
• Take time off – Allow yourself to rest, guilt-free. Taking breaks will help you return to work more focused and productive.
• Seek help – If you’re struggling with low self-esteem or burnout, consider speaking to a therapist. Your mental health is worth investing in.

Coming to the realisation that your workaholism and perfectionism may be tied to a need for external validation is a humbling and vulnerable step.

It requires an honest reflection of how you’ve been seeking your worth through constant achievement. Taking this step doesn’t diminish your value; instead, it reveals your strength.

Acknowledging these patterns and choosing to change is an act of courage, and it’s in that vulnerability that true growth begins.