Do You Hold Back In Loving Fully?

We love fully only when we believe we can manage the pain of loss. Heartbreak is a fact of life if you choose to love.

No one wants to get their heart broken.

Which means there’s nothing more dangerous than liking someone. If you like someone, you’re taking a HUGE risk.

He may not like you back.

To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal.

Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket - safe, dark, motionless, airless - it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, and irredeemable.

The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell.

Take a moment right now to think about this: What is more important to you — to love fully and run the risk of heartbreak, or to hold back opening up your heart, trying to be safe from the “risk of tragedy” and “the dangers and perturbations of love”?

He may seem to like you at first, only to stop calling. Even worse, you may fall deeply in love, only to crash and burn a few months or a few years later, reducing all those beloved memories to ashes.

But there’s one thing worse than taking the risk of liking someone:

Playing it safe.

If you play it safe, you never get the chance to have your heart broken. Playing it safe means you’re less likely to meet someone AND less likely to set off sparks when you do.

If we want to love fully, then one of the most important things we can do for ourselves is to learn to manage the smaller losses of life — the everyday rejections and the various common losses — so that we know we will be able to manage the bigger losses and tragedies should they occur.

Embrace your heartbreak with deep compassion, being very kind and gentle with yourself.

Compassion is a very powerful feeling and is the only feeling powerful enough to make our heartbreak bearable. While compassion from others is helpful, we can’t always rely on others to be there for us during heartbreak, so we need to learn to be present for ourselves with compassion — i.e., kindness, gentleness, tenderness, caring and understanding for ourselves.

Heartbreak generally comes in waves, and each time it comes up, embrace it with compassion for yourself.

If you have a spiritual belief system, then give the heartbreak to spirit, God, or whatever is your higher power, and ask to have it replaced with peace and acceptance. Do this as often as you need to. If you do not have a spiritual belief system, then imagine the heartbreak being released from your body into the air.

There can be much to learn as a result of opening to and managing your feelings of heartbreak. You might need to explore whether you are taking someone’s behavior personally, or if you are blaming yourself for something, or what someone’s unloving, rejecting behavior is saying about them.

Disclaimer: The information on this POST is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional advice. The opinions expressed within this article are the personal opinions of the author. All content, including text, graphics, images and information, contained on or available through this article is for general information purposes / educational purposes only, and to ensue discussion or debate.

Thank you … Don’t rely too much on what you THINK you want in a partner

Spend less time analyzing an online dating profile and more time going with your gut.

If you’ve got a spare evening and someone wants to meet up, why not? A man doesn’t have to meet your exact specifications for Mr. Perfect to be good company.

The opposite is also true. A man who looks perfect in every way on paper may be a dud in person. So never jump to conclusions. Put a big red question mark over his head in your imagination, until you’ve met him in person and got to know him.

Taking risks safely requires being realistic about the outcome. When you take the risk to meet someone new, avoid investing yourself emotionally in how it turns out.

Think of it like playing the slots in Vegas. There’s always the chance of a big win, but you’re more likely to walk away with nothing. Still, that doesn’t mean you “lost.” You spent a pleasant few hours doing something that’s much more interesting than sitting at home.

Your thoughts …..?

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Men and women alike aren’t big risk takers when they first meet. You can’t predict what another person likes until you meet him or her. So you make safe choices. You act conservatively.

But it’s hard to get excited about someone who’s playing it safe. Go on enough coffee dates, and they all start to run together in your mind. Even if that person is saying all the right things, the conversation gets boring. You’ve heard it all before.

The answer is to take a few risks. Do something novel on a first date. Invite him along to one of your favorite activities, or introduce him to one of your hobbies. Put him out of his comfort zone.