Do You Have the “Special Sauce” Needed for Successful Coworker Relationships?

When I was growing up, we lived near San Francisco and enjoyed going there to visit as a family. Whether it was riding the trolleys, walking on the Golden Gate Bridge, or shopping at Pier 39, it was always a memorable time. One of my favorite pastimes, though, was simply sitting on a bench or walking through a crowd and people-watching. There was so much diversity, whether it was the international flair or the intriguing street performers. Watching interesting and curious personalities always held a high level of interest for me and I am still intrigued by observing how people portray themselves.?

Over time, it has helped me build my social awareness as I watched people’s body language or listened to their tone, because each display provided me insights about the person and who they were or what they valued.

In my last two posts on self-awareness and self-management, I discussed the value of emotional intelligence and its advantage in helping me see my emotions more clearly to make better decisions. Today we will add to our EQ framework by discussing the benefits of social awareness and providing two tools you can use today in your work setting.

How Social Awareness Can Benefit You

According to Emotional Intelligence 2.0, social awareness is the ability to pick up on the emotions of others to have a better understanding of them in a given situation. Sometimes this could be listening to a person’s tone or watching their body language. The ultimate goal, though, is to recognize what is really going on with them in order to have a productive and honest relationship.

One of my favorite Pixar movies is Toy Story 4. If you are looking for a movie with an abundance of social awareness examples, this is it. One scene, in particular, illustrates this beautifully. In this clip, Bonnie is getting ready for her kindergarten orientation. Woody observes Bonnie’s deflated body language and fearful emotions about having to go to school. And in classic Woody style, he talks through his concern with his toy friend, Dolly, about how Bonnie should have a toy buddy to help her through her first day.

Social awareness: Woody truly understands what is going on with Bonnie by simply being aware of her social cues. This awareness leads to action to help Bonnie.

Notice that the goal of social awareness is not simply to be more aware of a person’s emotions but instead to use that knowledge to foster a productive relationship. Despite all of the advancements in technology, real relationships with real people are still critically important to making things happen in a business.

There are several tools that could assist you in your growth with social awareness, but I want to highlight two that you can use today. Both of these come from Emotional Intelligence 2.0.

Social Awareness Tool #1: Clear Away the Clutter

Having high social awareness requires being in the moment and clear of distractions when you are with others. There is a powerful quote in Emotional Intelligence 2.0 that says “We have to stop talking, stop the monologue that may be running through our minds, stop anticipating the point the other person is about to make, and stop thinking ahead to what we are going to say next.”

I admit I struggle with this one. I can unintentionally use the time that I should be engaged to plot in my mind what I am going to say next. I have to remind myself that I am with this other person to really understand what is going on with them, and that demands that I clear the clutter from my thoughts.?

Social Awareness Tool #2: Practice the Art of Listening

Active listening means I am not merely listening to words; rather, I am taking in the entire landscape of the interaction with this person. “Listening isn’t just about hearing words; it’s also about listening to the tone, speed, and volume of the voice. What is being said? Is anything not being said? What hidden messages exist?”

When I listen with this type of intentionality, I am able to hear past a person’s words and better comprehend what is really going on with the person in front of me. Tone. Speed. Volume. Have you ever considered that these also provide insightful interpretation and meaning for you?

In Conclusion

I will say from personal experience that growing my social awareness has led to numerous beneficial conversations that have driven exceptional relational outcomes. It has become my “special sauce” for relationships. ?

If a healthy self-awareness allows you to make better personal decisions regarding your emotions, what do you think a strong social awareness will do for you? Stay tuned for my next post.