Do You Have a Sorry Habit?

"An apology is the superglue of life. It can repair just about anything!" -Lynn Johnston

The bright, hardworking young woman in front of me had not done anything wrong but our few minutes together was peppered with at least three “sorry’s”. I was about to admonish her to give up the sorry habit when I noticed the time and said, “Oh sorry! I have to go.”??

I do it too.?

Being Overly Apologetic even has its own abbreviation, OA. By the looks of things, it’s viral.?

Someone bumps into you on a busy staircase?? “Sorry.”

Reaching for a glass of water at the same time? “Sorry!”?

While many of us may have taken the childhood admonition to “say sorry” so completely to heart that it is on auto responder, true apologies are powerful when appropriate.?

Over apologizing weakens statements of actual remorse and weaves contrition into everyday actions that do not merit any.?

While leaders take responsibility, auto-responder apologies don’t rate as solution builders. True apologies are sincere and thoughtful. They can be a balm of reconnection, and yes, can be just two words, “I’m sorry.” We can feel the difference.?

Reduce over-apology auto-responder by considering these four recommendations:?

• Replace auto-apologizing with—thank you.? Instead of, “Sorry. I finished the project you assigned me ten minutes later than I hoped.” We could say, “I sure enjoyed taking on this assignment and appreciate your patience for that extra ten minutes to get it done! It’s effective, purposeful, and connects.?
• Notice and add your new norm—Form a new habit by noticing when you apologize excessively or unnecessarily, stop and respond as you would like to do going forward. “Sorry! [Breath]? So glad the link finally worked. Looking forward to this meeting.”??
• Call it out!—Pause and say, “Have you noticed how easy it is to auto-apologize? I’m working on being more purposeful in communication. It’s interesting to note how often I say sorry!” Then move on with the conversation.?
• Sorry, no sorry—Someone brushes up against you in the hallway, try a smiling “excuse me” instead of sorry. In our home this has become memorable fun. During holiday meals our kitchen gets crowded. Accidental bumps are then exaggerated as if exiting a crowded bus, “Excise me! Pardon me!” Playful laughter instead of sorries? Yes please.?

An apology is too important to waste. Let’s allow purposeful apologies to have their important place without unnecessarily sorries. Over-apologizing can lead to reduced self-confidence and less purposeful connection.?

How about you? Have you found a way to turn auto-apologies into purposeful engagement? What have you noticed when you employed sincere apologies vs OA?

#OverApologizing #PurposefulCommunication #SelfImprovement #ConfidenceBoost #Leadership #MindfulInteractions #PersonalGrowth #CommunicationSkills