Do you have power or Influence?

My son got upset at his sister for making a mess around the house and he raised his voice to try and get her to listen to him.?

I looked at him and said, “Raising your voice is powerful but it's not an influence. Do you know the difference?”.

He did not respond because he was in a state of frustration and he was not able to think clearly.?

Once he cooled off, I drove him to his baseball game and we had a chat in the car.?

Driving in the car can be a great time to have a conversation because you are both looking forward and the pressure is off.?

I brought up the concept of power vs. influence again and I asked my son, “What would you rather do to get your sister to listen to you? Force her by raising your voice or influence her by getting her to WANT to do what you asked her to do?”.

He said, “I would rather get her to want to do something because when someone wants to do something, it's more likely that they’re going to do it.”.

“Bingo! You got it, so how do you use your influence instead of your power?”

He said, “I have no idea how to use my influence.”.?

The first step I explained to him is to remain calm and not let your frustration take over because once you are triggered, you only have power as an option.?

Influence comes from being strategic and understanding what your goal is, and what you can leverage to get to your goal.

For example, think of things that the person who you want to influence cares about.?

Then you can give them more of those things to get them to have their wants and desires align with yours.?

There are 6 major ways to gain influence and if you leverage them individually you can really master helping people make the right choices for themselves.?

The key is to not manipulate, which means getting people to do things that they do not want to do. That is bad karma.?

Instead, find out what they really want in life and get them closer to what they want.?

Often people will overlook their values and desires to get their needs met first because needs and wants are very different things.?

We have 6 basic human needs and often we end up taking actions that do not align with our values just to get those basic human needs met.?

Before we get into the hierarchy of needs, can you give me an example of how to influence someone?

He said: Give her candy and she will listen to me!?

YES! When you give something to someone, they are more likely to want to listen to you. Does not have to be candy, it can also be a compliment.?

Everyone likes to be told they are special and in fact, everyone is special in their own way. Help people see how special they are and they will appreciate you for it.?

Dale Carnegie wrote a book called “How to win friends and influence people”. He said that people want appreciation and recognition more than they want food. Humans are starving for love.

Learn to use your spheres of influence to get where you want to go and you will feel more powerful than forcing people to do things for you.?

This is what networking is about too. Networking is not about forcing people to give you back when you give to them but is about influencing and connecting with unconditional love.?

I give because I am a giver.?

I give because I know that the secret to living is giving.?

I give because I can give and because it's the right thing to do.?

Key Message: Learn how to influence people, life, and yourself to get to your goals and you will live a more powerful life and you will make this world a better place.

Think about your competitive advantage.?

Often when I train business owners and entrepreneurs I ask them WHY does someone want to buy from them?

Are you the least expensive?

Are you the fastest?

Are you of the highest quality?

Usually, you cannot get all three from one business because you have to cut corners with quality if you want it fast.?

Quality just takes time.?

I remember when I started my business, speed was really important to my clients.?

They wanted to get number one on google INSTANTLY.?

That can happen but there are risks and quality is usually not there.?

The faster you move, the more you will sacrifice quality or price.?

With the right amount of money, you can build the pyramids quickly and keep them high quality.?

But if you want to be CHEAP you will often get SLOW and LOW quality.?

Think about what your ideal clients really care about.

Do you want to be seen as the LOWEST COST provider or do you want to be seen as the BEST but not the CHEAPEST??

A client recently left a testimonial for our Marketing Agency Ajax Union and he said, they are not the cheapest but they get really good results really quickly.?

Personally, I do not want to be the cheapest. I want high quality and I want speed to market.?

We get things done, and we get them done right quickly.?

What is your competitive advantage? Why do people do business with you?

I went to a book signing for the executive chairman at Signature bank last week because Scott Shay published a new book that is about anti-Semitism and I wanted to support his efforts to make the world a better place.?

Before his talk, I got to network with over a dozen people who know me, like me, and trust me as well as their friends whom I met for the first time.?

What I learned from going to hundreds of networking events is that nothing will happen if you do not follow up.?

The fortune is always in the follow-up.?

Most people show up and throw up, instead show up and follow up if you want to get results.?

Personally, I take selfies with the people I meet and if they have a name tag, it makes it super easy to research them later and follow up on LinkedIn.?

For the people whom I want to connect with, I will ask them to scan my LinkedIn QR code and once they visit my LinkedIn profile, I see who they are because LinkedIn shows me who checked out my profile :)

I also ask people to TEXT me their names so that I have their cell phone numbers stored so I can call them later and follow up.?

Most people have a hard time following up because it's a ton of work.?

It really takes 3 times more effort to follow up than it takes to show up at an event.?

Coming to an event, drinking wine, and having conversations are more fun than looking people up and setting meetings with people.?

Remember to have a follow-up strategy so that you do not miss out on the opportunities that follow-up provides.?

You might make a living by showing up but you will make a fortune by following up.?

The fortune is always in the follow-up.

Who do you need to follow up with?

When it comes to marketing your business online, videos are very powerful.?

There are dozens of different types of videos that you can create for your business from talking head videos to testimonial videos to animations.?

It does not matter what video you focus on, it matters that you have video.?

Did you know that on average someone will spend 3 seconds looking at your website before they decide to leave but when you add video they spend 20 seconds before they decide to leave?

You can 7x the amount of time that people spend on your website, LinkedIn profile, and other marketing assets just by giving people videos.?

You do not even need to show your face!?

Yesterday I created a proposal for a client and because he was too busy to meet with me, I shared my screen on a video and spent 5 minutes walking him through the proposal.?

I emailed him the video and he replied within a few hours that he will review the proposal with his team and get back to me next week.?

Imagine closing a deal that is worth thousands of dollars in profit by sending a video strategically.?

Most people are afraid of their own voice and image but if you get used to your voice, you can improve your relationship with yourself and leverage the power of video.?

Do you use video as part of your marketing strategy?

How often do you comment on LinkedIn posts strategically?

Did you know that every time you comment on a post, the person who you commented on gets a notification that you commented?

Linkedin will also email the author a note with the actual comment as well so they can see it via email.?

When you send a direct message on LinkedIn they just get an email that says “1 new message” but when you leave a comment, the ACTUAL COMMENT gets emailed.?

Think of an email as a powerful tool to stay top of mind with your relationships.?

You have the power to stay in front of your connections and relationships if you learn how to comment strategically.?

It's not so much about going on the feed and hoping that something will show up from your connections.?

You need to be proactive.

Make a list of 10 people in your network whom you want to stay top of mind with.?

Bookmark their recent post's URL. It's this LinkedIn URL with the following after the URL recent-activity/shares/

For example here is my recent post https://www.dhirubhai.net/in/joeapfelbaum/recent-activity/shares/ I have folders of bookmarks with people who I want to stay top of mind with, this helps me be able to quickly check for YOUR posts.?

Imagine how much more effective it is to spend 5 minutes reviewing 10 people's posts strategically instead of just hoping something appears in the feed.?

I would say to use the BELL icon on people's profiles but experts say the bell icon is buggy and does not always show you people's posts.

Whose LinkedIn posts do you need to make sure you bookmark so you never miss a beat?

Battery salesmen are the best.?

They always have the most energy.

Why can't you ever trust pillowcase salesmen??

Because it might be a *sham*

Question: How do you get down from an elephant?? Answer: You don't get down from an elephant, you get it from a goose.

When I went diving my captain told me this joke: What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?? A nervous wreck!

I hope Will does not slap me for this one: Question: What do you call 100 rabbits jumping backward in unison?? Answer:? A receding hare line.?

Let me know which one you loved the most and if you have any jokes put them in the comments below, I love to laugh!

I always wondered why I would procrastinate at getting things done. David Allen explains in his book that your mind is not a filing cabinet where you need to store everything you need to do. Your mind is a CREATIVE machine that is meant to brainstorm, imagine and be in the moment. You cannot be in the moment if you store your to-do list in your head.?

1. Having a system for getting things done means, beginning with the end in mind. What does DONE look like for you? How do you know the difference between a project and a task??
2. Are the things that you have in your TO DO list actionable? How do you make sense of all the INPUTS that you have coming in physically and electronically?
3. Do you have a way to manage all the insane amounts of emails that keep coming in! What do you do when you don’t know what to do?
4. I learned about having a project list and reviewing my project list properly as well as understanding how to break down projects into tasks and break down tasks into actionable steps.?
5. If you want to learn how to get things done in all areas of your life so you have stress-free productivity this book will change the way you look at your time and your energy.?

Bottom Line: You are probably not using your resources in the best way possible and energy without strategy is a waste of time. Understand where your energy is at any time in the day, be prepared and organized and follow a system that will guarantee you get more things done and accomplish your goals.?

This week I want to feature the tallest man in the room.?

I met Zach at the Executives association in NYC and his energy spoke to me right away. He is a deep person who wants to connect in a meaninful way.

We got to know each other and we have so many experiences to share.

The conversations are always interesting and he loves to have a great time.

I had to get on a chair to see what the weather was up there.

A long time ago I learned that relationships are build one experience at a time.

Getting down to other peoples level and learning about them personally is the key.

Zach showed me his list of Vendors a few weeks ago and said, Joe, if any of these major companies can do business with you, I would walk you in the door to any of them.

He did exactly that. He introduced me to some major companies quickly and I got incredible meetings because of the trust we built and his willingness to give.

Thank you for being in my life Zach Breslaw! Check him out on LinkedIn < If you are in NYC and are in the real estate scene, you want to connect with Zach. Tell him you saw him featured here and reach out to him. Or you can wish him Happy Birthday, cause in a few weeks, he is going to celebrate his birthday!

What do you notice on my profile?

When you look at my profile you notice many things, here in this post I break down all the things you might notice on my profile that you can use to improve your own profile:

https://www.dhirubhai.net/posts/joeapfelbaum_networking-linkedin-data-activity-6916712983402307584-ZK7q

Are you a giver or a taker when it comes to networking?

In my opinion, everyone should be a giver. You can always add any value to someone else's life if you want it. In my post below, I will show you how I add value to other people's lives in my own ways. Enjoy!

https://www.dhirubhai.net/posts/joeapfelbaum_networking-business-connections-activity-6916587789002141696-kgKg

What do you do to stay on top of the mind of your audience?

You might be thinking I have to do all kinds of stuff so that they’ll notice me. But you’re never more wrong. In this short video post, I explained that the smallest gestures left as comments can also have a huge impact on your people.?

https://www.dhirubhai.net/posts/joeapfelbaum_every-time-you-like-or-comment-on-someone-activity-6916382815680925696-4oHr

Are you networking ENOUGH?

In this post, I am going to share with you the whats, the whys and the hows of networking so you would be doing it right.

https://www.dhirubhai.net/posts/joeapfelbaum_networking-linkedin-advertise-activity-6915710129971560448-FfGL

Do you also hate NETWORKING?

Well, I was but then I realized we shouldn’t be. Check my story below on how I’d transitioned from hating networking to loving every ounce of it.

https://www.dhirubhai.net/posts/joeapfelbaum_mojopolls-activity-6915613347849625600-1TEy

When was the last time you updated your Linkedin profile?

If you’re like me, I used to NOT update it frequently but hey we can change as a person right? In this post, I’m sharing what to take note of when you’re reviewing your own ABOUT section on your profile.

https://www.dhirubhai.net/posts/joeapfelbaum_linkedin-activity-6915326478352044032-SFKB

How do you feel when you get slapped? With a sales pitch.

Linkedin is a networking platform, not a pitch fest. Instead of selling, serve and add value. Check this post below as I break down the ways on how to add value more to your connections.

https://www.dhirubhai.net/posts/joeapfelbaum_sales-activity-6914982683286626304-nk5m

What’s up on WhatsApp?

Okay, I recently made a poll on how people are using Whatsapp if it’s for business purposes, personal use, or both! Check my post below to see who’s on the top!

https://www.dhirubhai.net/posts/joeapfelbaum_whatsapp-networking-mojopolls-activity-6914915608782368768-Fn3R ?

No one is born a good writer, not even me. It comes with practice.

If you’re AFRAID of writing then this post is definitely for you.

https://www.dhirubhai.net/posts/joeapfelbaum_business-contentmarketing-personaldevelopment-activity-6914555286477266944-gAQ2 ?

Thinking creatively goes a long, long way.

Want to get creative with me? Join me in this post as we flex our imagination together with our people on Linkedin.

https://www.dhirubhai.net/posts/joeapfelbaum_leave-activity-6914535044124442624-GLc0 ?

How do you set your GOALS?

I set my goals the SMART way. Check my post below if you want to know more.

https://www.dhirubhai.net/posts/joeapfelbaum_goals-activity-6914407650449350656-AQzw ?

Your old posts on Linkedin are not gone forever.

You heard that right! In fact, you could see ANYONE'S old posts on LinkedIn. In the video post below, watch me as I reveal the secrets on how to check all the posts that anyone has written in the past.

https://www.dhirubhai.net/posts/joeapfelbaum_linkedin-stalking-activity-6914322855455297537-2V4z ?

Last Weeks Newsletter:

In case you missed it, you will really enjoy this one!

https://www.dhirubhai.net/posts/joeapfelbaum_linkedin-business-newsletter-activity-6914210545608884224-_JvC

If you enjoyed this newsletter, please leave a comment below letting me know you read the whole thing and you got value!

Thank you - I am grateful for you being a subscriber!

About the Author:

Joe Apfelbaum is the CEO of Ajax Union a B2B Digital Marketing Agency in Brooklyn NY. Ajax Union develops marketing funnels for companies that want to be more strategic. Our strategies include lead generation, account-based marketing, awareness campaigns, and prospecting.

We leverage search engines, social media, and email marketing to support your goals and get the right traffic into your marketing funnel so you can have a positive ROI. To learn more go to?www.ajaxunion.com ?and watch the marketing funnel presentation!

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