Do you have a personality preference?

Happy Friday readers, I am Reena Jha.

The theme of today's writing is based on the conversations with my clients past couple of weeks.

Do you face personality-related discrimination happening at your work?

What is personality-related discrimination?

In a nutshell, these are things based on how you talk or present, how you show up socially, how you dress, how you converse with others, how you do/do not make an impression on others, and how you conduct yourself in meetings, whether you show up engaged or not, whether you switch on your camera in virtual sessions, how you respond to conflict situations, how you work within a team, whether you are somewhere on the introvert/extrovert spectrum. It is about all things related to your personality.

What it has to do with your inherent abilities?

Please get reminded that this has nothing to do with the calibre and expertise you bring to the table. It is plainly on the perceptions your surroundings have created for you based on how you show up every time.?

In my coaching and mentoring experience, I have seen many people with very high calibre and potential but they can't get much further ahead in their career journey due to personality issues and in some cases, they are not even aware of it.

Why do people form a perception around personalities??

I will give an example to explain:

My son who is in primary school told me one day that one of the staff members in school show up as if they have just popped out of bed and were so disengaged all the time. I was frankly shocked by his observation. Thinking deeply over this, I realised that children are constantly told to dress smartly, tie their hair neatly and show up to school in a smart presentable manner, and have a good night's sleep so that they can actively engage with learning. I am sure any of us who went to school might have heard these instructions again and again throughout school life.

Think about it, If you grew up listening to and following such instructions, it's only natural to expect that in society, workplaces and in our environments. It becomes ingrained in us that dressing smartly is a good thing, isn't it??

Perhaps a question to retrospect could be:?

Why do Twitter/Social platforms go berserk if someone is talked about based on how they showed/dressed up??

After all, that is the perception we are creating from childhood, right, isn't that so?

Let's talk about manners:

1. Another thing which closely ties into personality is manners. I have seen countless examples of people talking over others in meetings or raising their voices, shooting down others' ideas. These are all bad manners and puts you in the wrong personality box.?
2. Waiting for someone to finish the conversation before starting to talk and not interrupting are good manners, it indicates respect for the other person.
3. Have you met colleagues who only remember you when they need something from you, i.e. sort of help? They are opportunistic type colleagues/friends. Apart from such instances, they never have the time or interest in you, isn't that rude?
4. Have you met colleagues who always complain, the whiner personality who sorts of likes to engage in such behaviour rather than the constructive one? It seldom goes in their favour

I am keeping the context of this newsletter in the context of common day-to-day observations and not going into the technical definitions of personality types. There are a lot of other types of personality definitions in psychology, including The big 5 personality traits, and Myers-Briggs, to name a few.

Why is human perception like that?

Most humans do not view things objectively, we see things from a mirror of perception, based on our make, conditioning & geography etc. So if you are in the UK for instance- your personality will be viewed in the light of the British culture.

Personality-related discrimination will remain in some form, there's no need to take them personally, it is mostly the reflection of how societal norms are structured attributed to what we were taught in schools. It has very little to do with others disliking you. Also, it has very little to do with your calibre and expertise.

What is the impact on your career?

If some of the personality-related attributes are perceived negatively by your work community, it can potentially become an obstacle to your growth and success at work.

Is it worth introspecting?

Yes, I will argue that paying close attention to how you show up in the world is a worthy step in your growth, and being aware of what can you improve is an exemplary quality.

Is every feedback relevant?

No, not everything. Identifying what areas of your life and personality actually need a hard look and a change is a good practice, however, also knowing what to ignore, overlook and let go of is crucial.?

People can give you tons of feedback, it’s an important skill to discern what is worthy of a review and what you should just give a deaf ear to.?

Thank you for reading!