"Do You Have My Back?"

"Do you have my back?" - the fourth trust question.

We live in a world where people are marginalised and?often denied rightful access to their identity.?Brings up the question?“Can I be myself around you or do I have to wear a mask to fit in/be acceptable to you?”

This is?your?opportunity to be the leader who has their back.

“Instead of building a wall, build a longer table”.

The trio: Inclusion, acceptance and belonging – where you know that your place at the table is permanent. It goes beyond the definition and feeling of being family.

What does that look like?as?you build?your community?

Remember we spoke about having values and standards within your community that are clearly expressed and lived out by you as the Speaker and head of the community?

One way to show you have your members’ backs is to post about those values, those standards and how sometimes you don’t live up to your own expectations.

How do you bring yourself back on track?

By being vulnerable, you are showing yourself to be human and a role model with integrity.

Here are 3 ways you can do that:

1. Alternative Way: “This is what I stand for… and sometimes I don’t live up to it. Do I give up on myself or simply acknowledge, learn from the situation, come up with a new script to tell myself and move on?”
2. Modelling: By modelling this in your own life in your community, you are giving permission for your community to do the same.
3. Shepherding: If someone does post something in the group that contravenes your expressed values and standards, you can delete the post and engage with them on a DM to check in with them about their intention in such a post.

When you are offering opportunities to work with you, do you walk away immediately when someone says no or do you dig a little deeper to get to the underlying reason, their “why” for saying no?

It will come down to trust!

As you walk with them while they explore their blocks/challenges, you?demonstrate that?you have their back.

My invitation to you is to consider:

1. Have you got?the right responses to when people say no to themselves?

2. Do you show your vulnerability in acknowledging your own slip-ups to your community and thereby model how you as a leader expect the community to show up with grace and support for each other?

3.?Think of a time when someone didn’t give up on you, and showed you they had your back. Remember how that made you feel? Seek to replicate that for your community.

This active sense of belonging in your community, because you have answered the Four Trust Questions, will enable you to

• Grow your community to serve more with your message
• Develop your raving fan base who will follow you and recommend you to others (do your marketing for you!!)
• You will be a more attractive applicant for TEDx with a community behind you to help you spread the word when your TEDx talk goes live!