Do you have an inner voice?

This article is going to be very interesting. We’re going to talk about “the inner voice”. Let’s explore what science says, what it means for each of us and how can we use it in our advantage. This is a subject that I’m very passionate about, so is my voice.

What is the inner voice?

Also referred to as “internal dialogue,” “the voice inside your head,” or an “inner voice,” your internal monologue is the result of certain brain mechanisms that cause you to “hear” yourself talk in your head without actually speaking and forming sounds.

What’s really interesting about this inner voice is that not everyone experiences it.

Why do we have an internal monologue?

An inner monologue can help you hear your own voice while canceling other external stimuli. It may also help you organize your thoughts during times you can’t speak out loud.

You might ask yourself questions and work through the answers as a form of problem-solving.

This is how my articles are written; I ask questions that I think are needed to clarify but also questions that the readers might have.

My inner voice started a long time ago

I’m not 100% sure when, but I know my inner voice started a long time ago. Back then, the trigger was my anxiety. I used to have this habit of making scenarios in my head about different things that might happen. I’ll give an example, but I’m pretty sure you know what I’m talking about.

Let’s say I had to go on a hike, which actually happened but my number of scenarios was smaller back then. At its peak, I would have asked questions like: “what if it rains, do I need a coat, what kind of clothes do I need, how many changes of clothes do I need, what if the backpack breaks, what if I need to go to the bathroom and I’m in the middle of nowhere, what if my boots break, what if I break my leg, how will I get to work then, what if we are attacked by a bear?” and list could go on and on. I’m telling you, those weren’t fun times.

I can’t say that today I don’t think about different scenarios, but now it’s more like pros/cons, what to do to be prepared for the unexpected.

What Causes an Inner Monologue?

Some research shows that people often use more inner verbalization when they’re under pressure. Perhaps they’re rehearsing answers to job interview questions. Or maybe they’re athletes trying to focus.

Among people who do report inner monologue, they tend to perceive those voices as their own. That self-talk generally has a familiar pace and tone, although the exact voice might change depending on whether the current scenario is happy, scary, or relaxed. Sometimes they may use whole sentences. Other times they might rely on condensed wordplay that would be meaningless to anyone else.

Does this happen to you?

Being in a stressful situation makes your inner voice show up?

Does it encourage or discourage you?

How do you deal with it?

Let’s imagine this scenario: you have a very important interview scheduled today at 12 pm, now it’s 10 am. How are you feeling? Are you nervous/ anxious? Does the voice tell you anything? Does it put pressure on you because you need this job or does it say “it’s fine, whatever happens, happens”?

“Well… it bugs me. I do need the job; I had a lot of interviews but didn’t get any offers. This time, something good might happen.”

Time passes by, the voice gets stronger and you can actually feel the pressure. What do you do?

“I’m overwhelmed, can’t focus and I’m not on my A game because of it.”

You had the interview, but in your head it didn’t go well. You keep asking yourself: “What could I have done better? Why did I say this instead of that? Maybe I should have been nicer or more relaxed. What if the interviewer didn’t like me?”

Does this sound familiar?

“Yes, what should I do?”

For starters, you can take 5 deep breaths to try to relax. It takes time to learn how to quiet your inner voice, especially when it’s being really annoying. We’ll talk more about this tomorrow.

Second scenario: “I don’t need the job, I’m relaxed.”

Time passes by, the voice is quiet, but in the back of your mind, you can hear: “what if it doesn’t go well?”

You have the interview, it goes well but you’re not satisfied, you think it could have been better. You encourage yourself: ”It’s fine, there’s always a next time!”

How often do you hear your good voice versus the negative one?

1. Way less, right?

Maybe because you want more from yourself, you’re never satisfied, or you’re being too harsh on yourself.

2. Or maybe you’re being too forgiving with yourself and the voice doesn’t “show up” that much.

Let’s analyze both situations.

“Yes, my voice really bugs me, especially when I want to achieve something. The more I try and fail, the more aggressive the voice becomes. I’m my worst critic, I tell myself that I’m useless, can’t achieve anything in life, why do I even bother?” And the list goes on. Does this sound familiar?

You are not alone! It’s really important to know this, whenever you feel like the voice becomes too strong, write your thoughts on a piece of paper, or even better, call a friend and tell him/her about it. It matters a lot to let things out. The more you keep your negative thoughts inside, the more they will eat you alive. Counteract it with positive thoughts.

“Oh, yea amazing advice, didn’t think about that. Thanks!”

I know right?

On a more serious note, if you hear the negative voice for a long period of time, I’d say one month, talk to a specialist. Don’t let things go from bad to worse. I strongly believe that it’s important to address issues when they occur. If you ignore the problem, it won’t go away. Find a solution, your mental health matters, especially if you’re young. The habits that you adopt in your youth, are a good predictor on how the rest of your life is going to be.

The 2nd situation was about you being too forgiven with yourself. What does that mean exactly?

Let’s say at work, the team counted on you to finish your job in time, but you didn’t. You don’t care because: “I tried… it is what it is. Also, why would I care about my team?”

Maybe you did your best and things weren’t finished, but you have to care about the people that you’re working with.

“WAIT A MINUTE, didn’t you say you don’t need friends at work?”

Yes, I did, but that doesn’t mean not to care about people.

Why? Because that says a lot about your character. If you treat people with respect, always do your best and be a decent human being, basically, then your life will be just fine.

Now… if you want to live an amazing life and not an ok one, then you have to make some changes. You can 100% use the inner voice to motivate you to do better. Think about it being like a football coach or an army instructor that keeps yelling at you, because he cares and this will push you to get stuff done. Use it to your advantage; tame and dominate it!

There were times when my inner voice was overwhelming. I couldn’t get things done, the more I wanted to, the more it said “Don’t bother!” I was thinking that something good needs to happen in my life so that I can actually achieve a goal. The more I was hearing it in my head, the more it discouraged me.

Until, I started to ask myself: “Why am I listening to it? Hello? I’m the master of my own mind!” From that point, everything changed. Every time the voice came back, slowly, I was saying, actually saying out loud: “shut up”, “leave me alone” or “f*ck off”, pardon my French. This was the first step, the second step and the most important one, was replacing the insults and negative thoughts with positive ones. Not positive insults but words of encouragement, you got it.

Slowly but surely, I took over my mind. Now… it bugs me from time to time, but I can get rid of the inner voice pretty fast. I taught it to push me, which is really useful at times, when things aren’t that great. It’s my own coach/trainer/ psychologist. Do more, achieve more, succeed more — That’s what it usually says.

Does this sound weird?

It probably does for a lot of people but, my aim was never to be “normal”. People who achieve greatness aren’t considered “normal” by the society’s norms.

“Are you saying you’re great?”

Not yet, I’m working on it!

It’s amazing how strong the human mind is, once you teach it to do something, it can be extremely helpful or destructive. That’s entirely up to you.

There will be times in life when you might hear two voices and you won’t know which one to listen to. The choice that your mind will make, will depend entirely on what you give it. Feed it positive things and it will reward you, feed it negative thoughts and it’s going to destroy you.

Be aware of what you’re dealing with, you’re telling yourself and how you’re behaving in different situations. Becoming conscious of your actions and feelings, is an extremely useful skill to master for life. It’s something that you can practice, especially, when you find yourself in a difficult situation. After you go through that thing, you can analyze what/how/why it happened, how/why did you react the way that you did? What would you have done differently if you were mentally stronger?

I know I said overanalyzing can lead to not taking action, BUT if you do it the right way — as in you, know when to stop — and draw an useful conclusion from it, then I think it’s definitely worth doing. That’s how you can become better.

Use the inner voice to your advantage, don’t allow it to take over. Push yourself, learn, grow and become the master of your mind.