Do You Have a Bias Against Introverts? I Did, And I'm Ashamed Of It

Part of Kathy Caprino's series “Today’s True Leadership”

Recently, something very upsetting happened to a college-aged child of one of my coaching clients. My client explained the situation to me, and it's an experience that I've heard countless times in the past 16 years, in different ways, from my clients and colleagues. Virtually every time this type of experience happens, the person on the receiving end feels hurt, confused and angry. And they also feel misunderstood about what they're truly capable of, and that makes them feel more isolated and disengaged from the work they're doing and the people they're doing it with. In hearing more about this event, I've can say that what happened to this young woman isn’t an isolated incident at all, but is a culturally-supported one that affects millions of people today.

Briefly, here’s what transpired:

My client's daughter (let's call her Sarah), is an introvert and is somewhat shy (introversion and shyness are not the same), and experienced what I believe is an out-and-out bias against introversion. She is studying at a reputable college, working hard, getting good grades overall, but in one class, the mandate from the professor (in order for students to get a high grade) is that every student needed to participate fully and regularly in class, by speaking up, contributing new ideas, and actively adding to the class discussion. The mandate also indicates that just attending the class each day and actively listening (without speaking and contributing) would generate no higher than a "D" in the "participation" segment of the overall grade.

Here’s the issue as I see it. First, there's an unconscious bias against introversion in our world, compounded by the fact that introversion is assumed to be the preferred personality trait of only a small minority of people, but that's simply not accurate.

The Myers Briggs Company, for instance, recently shared that 57% of the world prefers introversion (based on a global sample). As the article states:

But while half the world prefers Introversion, the proportions aren't the same in management. Culturally, some countries put more of an emphasis on the strengths and behaviors associated with Extroversion than with Introversion, such as the US.

The article continues to share this...

"In a recent survey we did in the UK, 9 out of 10 people report feeling pressured to behave in an extroverted way...One of the reasons that there may be a higher percentage of extroverted leaders despite the general population proportion is because of unconscious bias. Unconscious biases are social stereotypes about certain groups of people that individuals form outside their own conscious awareness. Everyone holds unconscious beliefs about various social and identity groups, and these biases stem from one's tendency to organize social worlds by categorizing."

For Sarah, and millions of other introverts, speaking up in a class environment on a continual basis, having to brainstorm each class on the spot and arrive at – and share publicly –?new ideas without having time to think them through, and raising her hand to comfortably lead a group discussion, are all activities that can represent a deep challenge. These are in direct opposition to her preferred and natural style of operating. For extroverts, on the other hand, this type of public speaking, on-demand brainstorming, and group participation can be much more comfortable and easy.??

The upshot of this, in my way of thinking, is this:

Forcing each student (or professional) to perform in the exact same way in order to be deemed "successful" in school or work smacks to me of bias.

So, what is introversion?

The terms introvert and extrovert were introduced in 1921 by?Carl Jung, as a way to distinguish between people who feel more connected to their inward thoughts and feelings and those who focus more on the external world. Throughout time, researchers have challenged some commonly-held beliefs and research studies about introversion,?but most seem to agree on these fundamentals:

The introvert:

• Enjoys time alone, and needs alone time to recharge.
• Needs less stimulation than the extrovert. An evening with a good friend of two is generally far more desirable than attending a large party, for example.
• Tends to have powerful skills of concentration and prefers immersing themselves in one task at a time.
• Wearies of small talk but often enjoys digging deep into a topic.
• Thinks before they speak and is often characterized as a good listener.
• May be socially adept but quickly tires of parties or group gatherings where they must be “on” for long stretches. Their social energy is limited, and they guard their supply.

In 2013,?Susan Cain, a Harvard law school graduate and former attorney and negotiator, burst on the scene with her bestselling book Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking. She explained that she had previously viewed her quiet, reserved nature as a disadvantage, something to be overcome. In fact, she experienced shame and humiliation at being introverted. But as she began researching introversion as a personality trait, she learned that what many people perceive as a weakness is in reality a strength — one that most Americans (including business managers, leaders, teachers, etc.) continually fail to appreciate.

Cain defines introversion as the preference for quieter, more minimally stimulating environments, where extroverts feel at their best and crave a high degree of stimulation. For introverts, the optimal zone is much lower. Her immensely successful TED talk – The Power of Introverts (with over 29 million views) – is truly riveting and so important:

In her intriguing interview “Society Has a Cultural Bias Against Introverts” with?The Guardian?in 2012, Cain shares important revelations, including:

• Introversion (again, by her definition, means “preferring lower-stimulation environments”) is often mistakenly perceived as being antisocial.
• Introversion is confused with shyness, where shyness is about the fear of social judgments. An introvert might not fear social judgments but simply prefers to be in a quieter setting.
• School and business (and society) pressures all our children to be more extroverted
• Our most important institutions – schools and businesses – are designed mostly for extroverts and the extrovert’s need for stimulation.

In examining my own personality, I’ve seen over the years that I have strong extrovert tendencies (but may be more accurately labeled an “ambivert”). Speaking up in public, brainstorming new ideas on the spot, socializing at length, leading group discussions, etc. come naturally to me. I quite enjoy them all and always have, but I do need my quiet time to restore myself after being in extreme social situations.

I have to admit too that in my 18 years of corporate life as a manager, director, and Vice President, I see now how I mistook introversion as something else (and that “something else” was not a positive, in my mind). I didn’t recognize introversion for what it truly is, and I had a negative bias against it because 1) it is very different from my own way of operating, and 2) I mistook extroversion for being able to think and analyze quickly, knowing and being on top of what you’re talking about, and being a strong leader and manager.

In the past few years, I began to see and understand introversion for what it is, rather than “shyness” or a stubborn reluctance to share ideas or speak in public with others. I also began focusing more intently on my own biases against introversion, and saw that they were rampant. Where I used to see staff members or colleagues as “not able to think on their feet,” or “so quiet that it hurts them,” I now see the keen power of their minds, their intense creativity and brilliant ideas, along with their ability to comfortably share power with others rather than needing to put their mark on other people’s ideas.

Through working with hundreds of introverted women in my career coaching work, I’ve seen too that our society’s bias against introverts is deep, reaching into the classrooms, colleges, and corporate offices around the country. For example, in one job interview my client had recently, it was remarked that she was very “quiet” and "reserved" and this was clearly not a compliment. And while she did very well on other aspects of the interview, she didn't get offered the job.

Further, I’ve been shocked by the number of introverts who make up the base of my career coaching clients and courses. In the past year alone, over 70% of those who’ve come to me for private coaching help self-reported as introverts. What this indicates to me is that introverts may indeed struggle in corporate life to be accepted and valued in ways that extroverts do not. Many of the introverted corporate professionals I’ve worked with have felt unappreciated, undervalued, and overlooked. I've seen too that the way in which they are judged due to their introversion (and the lack of acceptance of introverts in our work cultures generally) plays an important part in their feelings of disengagement and dissatisfaction with their work and careers.

Going back to Sarah's situation, do I think it was wrong of her professor to demand full, active participation in every class (meaning, requiring the students to speak up each time with new ideas and to lead out loud strongly in each class discussion) as a criterion for getting a good grade?

In response, I believe the following:

1. Great teaching and expert leadership embraces ALL types of people, and all communication styles and personality traits. For the best possible outcomes to be created, we need to embrace and value all types of human beings to build a more positive whole.

2.?Great teaching and expert leadership does not force people into one limiting box, claiming that that one box is the right way to go.

3. Great teachers and expert leaders recognize where there are unconscious and conscious biases within their own frameworks, systems and rules, and understand the power they have to shape successful, inclusive work cultures. Great leaders work tirelessly to shed new light on their own biases, for the good of everyone involved.

4. Great teaching and expert leadership helps each and every individual become all he or she wants to be, honoring his/her own unique style, approach and behavior. (For more about your particular Dominant Action Style and how to leverage yours more fully, take my Action Style Quiz.)

5. Great teaching and expert leadership helps each individual reach his/her fullest potential in ways that are authentic to that individual, and does not try to force people to be someone they aren't, in order to succeed.

This experience for my client's daughter has taught everyone in her family a great deal. They are all now committed to opening their eyes as to where there is active bias against people who are different, and where they may be experiencing or even participating in it. And they're not staying silent.

And these experiences that I hear every day urge me to be more committed to analyzing my biases, and embracing my introverted colleagues, partners and peers that I'm so grateful and blessed to have the opportunity to work and grow with.

Will you join me?

For more information on how to build a more rewarding, powerful and impactful career, visit KathyCaprino.com, tune into her podcast Finding Brave, and take her new 8-module career growth course The Most Powerful You, based on her newest book The Most Powerful You: 7 Bravery-Boosting Paths to Career Bliss.