Do you have a best friend at work?

This is one of the most famous and considered by some the most controversial question asked by Gallup over 30 years of employee engagement research. As the celebrations for Pride month begin this question caused me to pause and reflect: do I have best friends at work, as leaders what can we do to create an environment where friendships flourish and how do we help these friends to become our LGBT+ allies?

According to Gallup, employees who indicate they have a best friend at work are more engaged, more productive, have lower turnover, and deliver higher levels of customer service. Whether your workplace is fully in person, fully remote, or more likely hybrid, a culture that prioritises and encourages work friendships is both good for employees and good for the bottom line.?

Two weeks ago, I candidly talked about the anxiety that I am currently battling. This week for the first time in a long time I caught up with my incredible, multi-award-winning team at the Financial Services Compensation Scheme . We talked openly and honestly about the questions that I have been reflecting on and I am in absolutely no doubt about the real, longstanding, supportive friendships I have at work – it is perhaps not surprising in our very latest People Survey our highest scoring question at 93% is I often say thank you to my colleagues for any support they give me. To them I want to say a huge thank-you for the love, understanding and encouragement with your help I am slowly re-finding my feet.

Alok Patel and Stephanie Plowman writing for Gallup last summer said: a best friend at work is someone you can rely on through thick and thin. Someone who has your back and genuinely cares. These authentic friendships deepen employees' sense of ownership for their work and enable employees to be more effective and sustainable, regardless of where or when they work.

So, as leaders what can we do to create an environment where these types of friendship flourish? In 2013 I discovered the work of Stephen M. R. Covey on trust, and I return to it repeatedly when grappling with these questions. Covey defines trust as ‘…Confidence born of the character and the competence of a person or an organisation…,’ and his extensive research identified the thirteen behaviours that help people, organisations and societies build high trust relationships.

More than ever, we need to Talk Straight, Create Transparency, Right Wrongs, Confront Reality, Clarify Expectations, Practice Accountability and Keep Commitments. Only with open and honest communication can you build trust. We need to place significant emphasis on explaining the “why” so the reasons and thinking behind key decisions come before getting into the “how” and we need to do this with kindness.

Often, leaders mistake the aim of kindness with occasional acts of kindness – free fruit, a mental health day or courses related to wellbeing. However, kindness is more than that: it is about shifting your paradigm (I am also a lifelong devotee of the The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People ), from managing colleagues to really knowing your people, creating interactive opportunities for friendship to blossom, from command and control to trust and inspire (Stephen's latest amazing book!). It calls for a personal human centric approach.

I know from my own lived experience that best friends make great allies. Allies are some of the most effective and powerful voices for the LGBT+ community and they are critical in creating a welcoming and inclusive workplace. By being an ally, and showing support of LGBT+ people, you help end ignorance leading to issues and actions that adversely impact the daily lives and livelihoods of LGBT+ people. Not only do allies help foster safety in the coming-out process, but they also help others understand the importance of equity, fairness, acceptance, and mutual respect. Lesbian, gay, or bisexual adults are twice as likely as heterosexual adults to experience a mental health condition, and transgender individuals are about four times as likely as cisgender individuals to experience a mental health condition.

So, this Pride month wherever or whatever you are doing here is my call to action to everyone’s best friends at work:

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·???????Be an active listener

·???????Be inclusive

·???????Do not assume someone’s sexuality or gender identity

·???????Be willing to have dialogue and apologise if you make a mistake

·???????Be kind

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Because with best friends and allies we can overcome absolutely anything – Happy Pride!