Do You Get FOPO?
Esther Stanhope, The Impact Guru
TEDx speaker, award-winning author & personal Impact expert helping FTSE 100 execs get promoted, speak like a leader & win pitches with more presence & confidence! Parent, broadcaster & 80% Perfect Club founder
Tip – If you think you’re suffering from FOPO – Fear of Other People’s Opinions – best short term strategy? Say to yourself **** it!?And carry on.
OMG I used to suffer from FOPO all the time.?
My teenage daughter lives her entire life with daily FOPO – fear of other people’s opinions – also known as?“allodoxaphobia” (not to be confused with glossophobia – fear of public speaking like my book!)
The first I heard of “FOPO” was in my very good friend and fellow author Alisa Grafton’s book Great Networking! ??(See the full article about the origin of FOPO below.)
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We were at the Business Book awards (see pic below) 2023 short list party in London and she was short-listed yay!
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I was there, picking up the award for my book Goodbye Glossophobia as I couldn’t pick it up over the Covid years!
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Alisa is a networking-ninja, and I was struck by her non-FOPO attitude.?She lit up the room wearing a bright mustard dress.?As a lawyer, she really stands out from the crowd.
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As you can see Alisa has an air of “I don’t care what people think of me” about her and it’s so refreshing.?Really, take note.?It’s such a relief to stop caring what other people think.
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FOPO is such a great description of how we feel at networking events.?And it’s also really helpful to remember one thing…
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Most people don’t care about you……they tend to care a lot more about themselves!
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It reminds me of an event I was speaking at the other week for 100 Women in Finance.?It was a super fun evening all about personal branding (one of my specialities).
领英推荐
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We mingled by the auditorium at M&G in London and a few people came up to me afterwards with questions about empowerment, speaking with confidence and adding more colour to their wardrobe other than staying safe (and invisible) with black, black, black!
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One young French woman came up to me as I was chatting with a couple of senior women, and she confessed to us…
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“I’m scared that if I wear colour the other guys in the office will....make fun of me.
It would be a shock as I always wear black and don’t draw attention to myself.?I would feel like a show-off, and they might judge me, or comment”.
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Hey, I totally understood her pain.?I too used to feel afraid of drawing attention to myself.
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However, at that very moment, after a couple of flutes of fizz, we all looked at each other and we all chanted these 2 words at the same time…in a nice way…..
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"**** them" (excuse our French!)
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Seriously though, who cares what they think??
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Big Friday tip this week…
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Leave your FOPO at the door & let your best-self loose!
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Book me to speak at your team’s off-site event this summer – I’d love to help empower them to have less FOPO, no FOMO and more [email protected]