Do You Flex Your Style?

First a quote: "We tend to lead others the way we personally prefer to be led." — Bryan Yager

I begin today with an example, or metaphor of sorts, from the world of sales. Pretend for a moment you are a professional salesperson. And a quick detour… we are all in sales, maybe not professionally, but we are all in sales, even if we don’t know it at the time. For example:

• If you’re a parent, and you want your young children to go to bed at 8:00 pm, and they want to stay up until 10:00, you’re in sales.
• If you want to spend your vacation relaxing on the beach, and your spouse or partner wants to go on an “action-packed” vacation, you’re both in sales.
• You're hungry for Mexican food for dinner tonight and your friends would like to try a new Chinese restaurant, you’re in sales.
• Planning to speak with your manager about a potential raise, you’re in sales.
• As a writer this morning, I’m in sales while attempting to influence your thinking on this topic.

You get the point; anytime we’re trying to influence the thinking or actions of others (getting “buy-in”) we’re in sales. Now, back on track from the detour above.

Key Point #1 – We tend to “sell” the way we personally prefer to be sold.

Assume you are a “details kind of person.” You desire to know all the possible facts and figures about an item before you make a purchase. You love analysis and studying the plusses and minuses of a given item, or perhaps a range of items being considered. You might even go to a store armed with your online research, a spreadsheet, tape measure, and maybe even a calculator.

If those are your preferences as a buyer, could you also tend to assume other buyers seek similar levels of detail when making a comparable purchase? If you’re tracking with me, people with a preference for analysis as buyers, might lean towards providing plenty of analysis and details when in a sales role.

But, what if your buyers are less interested in the nitty-gritty details? What if they are mostly concerned with issues of style, color, and fit? What if it’s an emotional purchase? What if the facts and figures are boring or unnecessary to them, or at a minimum, not a priority in their decision-making hierarchy.

And now my power question for your consideration...

“What if your approach to selling doesn’t match the buying preferences of your buyer?”

I propose professional salespeople seek first to read the situation and the buying preferences of their potential buyer and then “flex” their approach to selling to maximize their probability of success in sales.

My intent above was to use selling as an example, or metaphor, to make similar points about our leadership styles, approaches, and preferences.

Key Point #2 – We tend to “lead” others in the way we prefer to be led.

Following are several examples for your consideration.

• When assigned a task by your manager, do you prefer defined outcomes with plenty of “free reign” in accomplishing that task? Or, is it more comfortable for you to be given a fairly detailed plan on how to accomplish the assigned task?
• Are you a “measure twice, cut once” type of leader; or do you tend to operate with a “speed is more important than perfection” approach to leadership?
• Do you tend to be more comfortable with “risk-taking” or “risk-avoidance” approaches to decision making and action planning?

I see this type of self-awareness as important because, if we’re not thoughtful and intentional, then our leadership styles and actions tend to be reflections of our personal preferences. Repeating my assertion, we tend to lead the way we prefer to be led.

Now, if you were to respond to the questions above with, “Bryan, it depends on the situation.” Then I would respond back to you with, “Good for you, you’re practicing what leadership experts, Paul Hersey and Ken Blanchard, have described as situational leadership.”

In simple terms, situational leadership is about style flexibility. The situational theory of leadership refers to those leaders who can flex their natural leadership tendencies according to their assessment of the situation and the development level of their team members.

This approach to leadership tends to be more effective because it adapts to the team’s needs and/or the situation.

This article is intended to be about leaders being able to “flex” their leadership style to best match the needs of the people they are leading. While a “one-way-to-lead style” will work occasionally, in the right situations, it may also fail in many more circumstances where that style is not the ideal approach.

How flexible are you? Can you give examples of where you have flexed your approaches to leadership?

Following are four tips for you to consider this coming week:

Tip #1 – Seek feedback about your leadership style on a regular basis. Ask a peer or colleague (who cares about you and sees you in action as a leader) for feedback. Ask them to describe what you do well, what you can do better, or differently, and in what ways you could be more effective.

Tip #2 – Pay attention to other successful leaders whom you admire and look up to. Look specifically at how, and when, they “flex” their styles in various situations and/or with various people.

Tip #3 – If possible, participate in a 360° feedback process if one is available to you.

Tip #4 – Just be more self-aware. Pay attention to how people respond to you and your leadership approach. Don’t be afraid to ask people about their preferences. What is working for them? What isn’t working for them? How can I help you do your job more effectively?

There are also many tools on the market that can help provide leaders with personal insights and a vocabulary for discussing and exploring these differences. My personal preference in this genre is the DiSC Workplace Profile which is a communications styles tool. Let me know if you are interested in experiencing this tool. I would be happy to provide you with more information.

Related articles:

• Click here to read: Getting Buy-in Isn't Enough

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Have a great week!

And, as always, how will you live, love, or lead, differently, or better, this coming week?

Bryan Yager

“Expanding Your Capacity for Success”

Bonus Quotes:

• "In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock." – Thomas Jefferson
• “Team leaders have to connect with their team and themselves. If they don't know their team's strengths and weaknesses, they cannot hand off responsibilities to the team. And if they don't know their own strengths and weaknesses, they will not hand off responsibilities to the team.” – John C Maxwell
• "A genuine leader is not a searcher for consensus but a molder of consensus." – Martin Luther King Jr.
• "A leader is best when people barely know he exists. When his work is done, his aim fulfilled, they will say: we did it ourselves." – Lao Tzu
• "A leader takes people where they want to go. A great leader takes people where they don't necessarily want to go, but ought to be." – Rosalynn Carter
• “Greatness lies not in being strong, but in the right use of strength.” – Henry Ward Beecher
• “There are two ways of exerting one’s strength: one is pushing down, the other is pulling up.” – Booker Washington