Do you feel sorry for yourself?

Being in your zone is the most ideal way to live.

We are most productive when we are in our zone.?We have no doubts, and we don’t hesitate to make decisions. Managers or leaders in organizations understand this.??

?The most exciting thing about it is that anyone can be in his or her Zone. It relies on our mental power. No one can do it for us, and it is not about luck or any kind of fortunate situation. This is the bad thing about it also. It is all about us. No one to blame.

Last time I wrote about the Imposter Syndrome. Hope this helps you to be more realistic about yourself and to see where you are, both good and bad. Be stronger within.

Let us continue our quest to improve and strengthen our self-perception, self-confidence, and self-competence. To be in our Zone. ?

?It is all about your thinking, and I would like to ask you this - How often do you feel sorry for yourself?

One way of thinking that prevents us from being in our Zone is self-pity. This way of thinking prevents us from being confident and competent. Thoughts that fill us with despair and misery. I am sure everybody knows this feeling. Yes. Being miserable. Hate yourself for who you are, for your failures, for your inability to succeed, that you are not as successful as others. But more than that, we need others to resonate with it for us.

Taking time to feel sorry about ourselves is a natural part of being human. However, it is important to recognize when these feelings are becoming excessive and are interfering with our productivity and happiness. Staying in the Zone means focusing on the task at hand and not getting caught up in negative thoughts and feelings.?

Why do we embrace this way of thinking? Why, in my experience, so many people, at some point in their life, struggle with this self-destructive way of thinking? Perhaps if we understand this, we will have the power to not be there.

Self-pity is a powerful tool. We use it as a psychological defense mechanism. When you feel that you did something wrong, that you failed, that maybe you've hurt others, or maybe your life is not going on the right path, and you don't have the strength or don't know how, or you don't want to make the way up, stand and face reality, then you choose this powerful tool – self-pity. You feel sorry for yourself in a way that, so you wrongly think, allows you to not meet and face the consequences of your actions or neglect of actions.

It is critical to understand this to avoid it. Self-pity is a defense strategy. You are trying to avoid blame and get others pity you and help you in some way. This strategy is a weapon with two edges. It helps you in the short term, but the more you use this strategy, it overpowers you and your mind. In time you become the miserable and helpless man or woman you pretend to be. And when it does, you really can't get yourself out of the situation. You become weak, frustrated, dependable, and eventually you are nothing.

Your mind is getting used to thinking negatively and always thinking of reasons not to, or to avoid actions you can take that can help you out of a failure or discomfort situation.

So, what is the challenge here? When you are distressed or feeling guilty, or maybe you feel you failed in something, whatever bad situation you are in, you can either make yourself miserable and guilty and execute the self-pity strategy or you can take responsibility and seek actions you can take that will let you overcome and move on.

Being responsible, is a way of being. It's not about blame or guilt. Being responsible and living a powerful life requires understanding that nothing depends on anyone or anything except me.

When I have the courage to be responsible, you can let go of the self-pity strategy, and I can embrace the feeling that everything is all right. I can live with failure, I can struggle with the situation, and not defend myself. Then, and only then, will I be in my zone.

?Example from my experience working with managers:

I recently coached a senior vice president at a large corporation. He was new to this company - about 4-5 months, but very experienced VP. When we spoke about his challenges and targets, he mentioned the difficulties in his job. Specifically, he expressed his uncomfortable, sensitive relationship with the CEO. It was pretty much all he talked about - "He (the CEO) did", "He said", and "He didn't", and so on. At some point he said: "I can't work with him. I have to decide if this is the right place for me", he told me in despair.

Well, this is exactly how a self-pity strategy looks like. It's an experienced VP who gets into a situation, a relation, a position he's never dealt with before, he's in shock, his ego is in danger, and he must take action. In this case he chose the self-pity strategy. This won't help him. He will leave his precious job only to not be challenged and responsible.

Have you experienced something like this yourself? Now you know what to do. Put an end to self-pity and face your challenge. Take responsibility for your actions and see how you get out of this situation.

Was that helpful for you?

If you want to know more about how I can help you leading your way please continue reading.

I'm here to provide guidance and support whenever you need it. I'm always available to answer questions and provide advice. Just reach out if you need any help.

I work with CEOs, owners, founders, and senior executives—people who lead companies—to become more effective leaders, make better decisions, and drive significantly better results in their organizations and personal lives. I would say that I am opening doors to the world of management.

For more information about working with me and opening exciting new doors, contact me or schedule a call using the link below.?

I have an international client base and sessions are held via Zoom.?

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Here is the link for you .??

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