Do you feel like an outsider too?

I have no idea why this memory is STILL in my mind... but here we have it.

When I was about 19, I vividly remember sitting in Starbucks with a group of friends catching up after not having seen each other for months.

Everyone was chit-chatting away, sharing stories and updates, and dating escapades. Blowing on too-hot egg nog lattes and nibbling marmite and cheese toasties. We were that slightly obnoxiously loud table in the corner, except...

I sat in silence feeling like an outsider. The more they chatted. The more silently seething I became.

WHY WASN'T ANYONE ASKING HOW I WAS?

WHY DIDN'T ANYONE CARE ABOUT ME?

WHY DID I COME ALL THIS WAY TO JUST SIT AND LISTEN TO EVERYONE ELSE?

So I sat, in silence, swallowing down the immovable lump in my throat and eventually left, feeling defeated.

Tell me it's not just me, have you ever felt like this? Unseen, unheard, unimportant?

Well here's the thing I've learnt...

As much as YES they could have made a little bit more effort to notice my silence...

I could have also decided to put on my self-responsible hat and SHARE something.

But I didn't. I sat in silence and took on the role of the outsider, as I always did.

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So many of us desperately want friendships and relationships where we feel deeply connected. Where we feel heard, seen, accepted...

And yet so many of us also CRINGE at the idea of actually sharing something heartfelt with another.

ROCK. HARD PLACE.

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If I've learnt anything over the years of focusing on my own development, it is this.

YOU GO FIRST

If you want something to change in your life. CHANGE YOURSELF FIRST.

Don't sit and expect a wonderful, connected, intimate relationship to drop out of the sky whilst you repeat your manifestation for the 50th time.

Do the work to become someone who has wonderful, connected, intimate relationships.

And in this example, become the person who:

• is confident enough to speak up and share what they are going through
• feels safe sharing when they aren't feeling heard or acknowledged
• knows that it is VALID for them to take up space and be heard in a group

BE THE PERSON WHO IS VULNERABLE AND SEES VULNERABILITY AS STRENGTH

But..hoooow?

Well, you could come to The Vulnerability Codes... where I'll teach you exactly that...

OR...you could just stay in outsider land. Up to you ;)

Lucy x

P.S. Oh and it's on early-bird offer right now so is only ￡55 for THREE DAYS of online masterclasses (and the recordings...!). Join here