Do You Feel Like an Impostor?

One of my clients mentioned to me on a call recently, “Bill…it was an interesting week. I signed 3 new deals which will result in significant billing revenue.” I would have expected to have heard a great deal of exhilaration in his tone. Instead, I sensed there was a fair amount of ambivalence and concern in the air. I knew there was a “BUT” coming.

When pressed for details, the truth came to the surface – he was anxious that now he would how to deliver on these deals, he would have to implement the projects, and he would have to shine in the spotlight as he has done successfully, countless time before.

The truth is he was somehow scared that his accomplishment of winning this new work would somehow expose him as a fraud and prove him unworthy of success. The hero was afraid of becoming unmasked.

Regrettably, many professionals experience this phenomenon, fairly common amongst high achievers, which is known as impostor syndrome. It’s actually a collection of feelings of inadequacy that persist despite evidence that indicates you’re skilled and quite successful. It can create a good deal of professional stress and uneasiness.

Many of these high achievers share a dirty little secret: Deep down they can sometimes feel like complete frauds. They may feel that their accomplishments are the result of serendipitous luck, rather than ability. They fear that others will eventually unmask them as a fraud. Impostors can often feel like a fraud because they attribute accomplishments to factors other than raw talent and ability, and they worry about being “discovered” or “unmasked."

They feel they absolutely cannot fail to avoid being found out, they believe their achievements come down to luck, and by discounting success as no big deal, they undermine their experience and expertise.

Perfectionism and impostor syndrome often go hand-in-hand. Perfectionists set excessively high goals for themselves, and when they fail to reach a goal, they experience major self-doubt and worry about measuring up. Any small mistake will make them question their own competence. For these folks, success is rarely satisfying because they believe they could’ve done even better. But that’s neither productive nor healthy.

The good news is that the only difference between someone who experiences impostor syndrome and someone who does not is how they respond to challenges. People who don’t feel like impostors are no more intelligent or competent or capable than others. This is encouraging because it suggests there are opportunities to change merely by reframing the dialogue and interpretations in your head and learning to think like non-impostors.

If you are feeling a little like an impostor, here are some steps to begin taking today:

Reframe and rewrite your mental programs- Learn to acknowledge your emotions, normalize the discomfort you may feel and put your feelings into perspective. Learn to see your achievements differently and realize your success is based on ability and skill, and not merely luck and hard work. Impostor syndrome is a complete fantasy based on assumptions and opinions that are not rooted in facts. And because it is not happening outside you, but rather in you, you can take steps to do something about it. This gives you power.

Review your professional track record- Take a look at your experiences, including projects, skills, and problems solved. Reflect on your list of clients served, successful proposals/presentations, and changes you helped to influence in the office. All of these are facts about accomplishments that actually happened in the real world. After reviewing your actual record, ask yourself: “Why, exactly, am I not qualified? Why, exactly, do I not belong here? Why, exactly, am I a fraud?” As you assemble your answers, note how many of them involve emotion and opinion rather than objective facts. More often than not, you’ll discover the data do not support the claim that you are an impostor.

Visualize your success- Learn to see situations with optimism before they happen. Visualize precisely how you will navigate that situation, successfully, before it happens. Conduct a mental rehearsal to make sure you are clear and firm about the goal and the outcome you would like to envision for the situation. Your confidence doesn’t have to come from just experience, otherwise, we would never try things for the first time. Imagine yourself killing the interview, nailing the presentation or winning the race. Keep your eye on the outcome – completing the task or making the presentation, which will keep you focused and calm. Remember, if you can’t picture yourself achieving a goal, there is a likely chance you never will.

Own and celebrate achievements- It is ok to recognize your accomplishments. It’s not about bragging. It’s about having a healthy and realistic self-perception that recognizes your successes and failures and gives them a relative weight. Don’t gloss over those moments and don’t downplay the praise you receive from others. It’s important to celebrate your successes because you’ve worked hard and earned them. When you start doing that, you develop more confidence, and once that is earned nobody is able to take that away from you. Nobody can discount the things you’ve already accomplished, especially if they haven’t!

Veer away from external validation- It is important to recognize how often and why you are looking to people or something external to give you a lift. Looking to people to provide an emotional lift in your emotions is temporary and does nothing for developing a stronger sense of self and pride. Focus on new ways to feel good that do not heavily rely on external feedback from people around you. No one should have more power to make you feel good about yourself than you—even your boss when they give your project the stamp of approval. On the flip-side, learn to take constructive criticism seriously and not personally. As you become more attuned to internal validation and are able to nurture your inner confidence that states you’re competent and skilled, you’ll be able to ease off the gas as you gauge how much work is reasonable.

At the end of the day, remember this: You are here for a reason. In this job, your business, your life, you are worthy. You are better than you think you are. You are smarter than you think you are. You know more than you give yourself credit for. Remember that. And remind yourself as often as you need to.