Do you ever struggle with low self belief?

I would like to share something today in the hope that someone might benefit from what I have to say, no smoke and mirrors or hype, just me as I am.

The truth is I never believed in myself, even though I excelled at many things, I never got to enjoy them mentally, I used to race motorcross and sand racing and I used to win, but in my mind it was never because I was the best, it was always because the competittion was having a bad day.

When I outsold everyone in my company selling life insurance every month for 5 years straight, in my mind it was because they weren't very good and nothing to do with my abiity.

Its not a great way to live, there is no pride in it and its a joyless existence. 

Why am I sharing this with you? simply because YOU deserve to take credit when you do something well, but more importantly you need to recognise yourself for doing well because its essential to your self esteem and mental well being.

I grew up in an extreme enviroment, I was physically and mentally abused until I was 18 years old. My Father whom I always loved and lost 4 years ago on the 2nd December would come into my bedroom and beat me up in my sleep.

I would think I was having a heart attack, as he hit me he would tell me I was nothing and that I would never amount to anything, when its beaten into you by someone that you love you believe it!

He would beat my mother unconscious and then go out to see his girlfriend and I would be left to drag her from the hallway to her bedroom and put her in bed. I was just 12 years old.

If you relate to this on any level, I would just like to ask you to please be kind to yourself, you deserve to feel good about yourself and dont beat yourself up.

The opinion you have about yourself is more important than what anyone else thinks, if the whole world thinks you are wonderful, but you dont believe them, then it will not do you any good, you must believe in yourself and you should.

Because whoever you are, you bring something secial to this world, and many people will be better for having known you, playing small serves no purpose to your fellow man.

So if you are going to make just one resolution at the end of this year, make it to believe in yourself, if you do, the rest of your life will become easier.

When I was a kid I used to force myself to sleep to get rid of the days, but I had a vision for the future, I used to imagine being in a bedroom bathed in an orange glow, in the bed was my wife and in the corner were two cots with my baby girls in them.

I had long forgotten about that dream and years passed, I would be out selling life insurance until all hours then one night I returned home and crept into my bedroom. That's when it hit me like a freight train as the room was bathed in an orange glow, my wife was asleep and as I turned to the right, there were my baby girls asleep in their cots, I crept into bed and wept, my dream had come true.

The next morning my wife was trying to teach my little girl to tie her shoelaces, in frustration my little girl said "I cant do it Mummy, I cant do it" You can do anything you want my darling, your daddy taught me that"  

Merry Christmas dear frends