Do you ever struggle with comparisonitis?

It’s the tendency to constantly compare yourself - and your achievements - to others. And for many of us that do this, we can end up in a spiral of disempowering thoughts, feelings and emotions.

When you’re in the comparing game, you’re engaged with the status domain of your brain - and your hard-wired need to ascertain your position relative to others.

Let me explain.

Have you ever noticed how much attention people pay to building their status?

This is particularly evident in the workplace, where you see people strive for:

? The job title

? Attractive pay and benefits

? Their own office - with emphasis on its size and decor

? Ownership of a prestigious car

? A reserved parking space

? Travel accommodations, such as first or business class

? Awards, plaques on the door or other symbols of recognition

? The projects they are assigned

? The tendency to name-drop prestigious connections

This pursuit of social status is deeply ingrained in us biologically.

It’s why luxury brands invest heavily in marketing and advertising to get you to believe that their products not only signify status but also elevate the status of the people who own them.

From a biological standpoint, status means ‘I am valued’.

As humans, we instinctively assess our position in society to determine our worth and social standing relative to others.

When our status needs are met, we experience feelings of self-worth and fulfilment.

However, when our brain perceives a challenge to our status, our body reacts as if it were in physical danger, triggering the release of fight/fight neurochemicals adrenaline and cortisol

If we fail to manage this reaction, we may experience persistent feelings of anger or frustration or be driven to constantly chase status and external validation as a means of feeling safe, secure and worthy. We can spiral into the comparison trap. As the saying goes 'comparison is the thief of joy.’

So, what can you do?

1.Identify those things that challenge your sense of status. And notice the associated thoughts, emotions, physiological reactions, memories and your resulting behaviours.

For example:

A threat to my status used to be when I was talked over in meetings.

Thoughts: My opinions don’t matter to you. I have no voice. My ideas are rubbish. Fear of saying the wrong thing.

Feelings: Frustration, anger, sadness.

Physiology: Tightness in my jaw. Hot in my face. Pit of my stomach.

Memories: The times this has happened before where I wasn’t treated seriously. Feeling like I was an outsider, didn’t belong and wasn’t as clever or articulate as everyone else.

Behaviour: Overthinking. Withdrawal.

2. Compile a list of actions or conditions that you need so that you feel like you’re heard, you matter and you feel valued. Put these things in place.

3.Engage in proactive emotional regulation techniques to support yourself in the event of status-related challenges.

What does this do?

By increasing awareness of these dynamics and implementing proactive techniques, you can avoid falling into the comparison trap and sidestep negative reactions associated with perceived threats to your status.

Why do this?

As humans, our innate desire for status can lead to counterproductive patterns. By actively addressing these tendencies, you can achieve a greater sense of fulfilment and emotional control.

If you need help with this, do send me a direct message.

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I'm here to support you on your journey. I do this through my work as a Neurosculpting? and Neuroleadership coach, trainer and facilitator.

Whenever you're ready, there are 3 ways I can help you apply neuroplasticity and Neurosculpting? tools to achieve your outcomes, whether on a personal or professional level.

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Jo Britton, BA(Hons), MBA, Certified Performance Coach (Distinction), Certified Neurosculpting? Facilitator, DiSC practitioner, Trainer, Speaker.

Director PACE Development.

Jo works with ambitious high achievers in demanding roles who need to excel under pressure, make high-stakes/quick decisions, problem-solve in ambiguous situations, and resiliently overcome challenges without burning out. Her clients are typically from the C-suite, leadership, teams and professionals in various industries sectors. They benefit from her coaching approach that integrates applied neuroscience with Neurosculpting?. Through this, Jo helps her clients to harness brain plasticity to unscript unhelpful mental, emotional and physical patterns so that they overcome self-imposed limitations and release stress. And at the same time, helps her clients to script empowering patterns which support high performance, resilience, focus, calm, motivation and energy. Her work has been featured in the national, regional and trade press and she’s held regular slots on BBC radio and regional TV, sharing these brain-based tools. Jo has held senior leadership positions in industry including in marketing, sales, learning and development and consultancy.