Do You Acknowledge Pain?

Namaste, Yesterday met my colleague. She is hospitalized. After a casual talk, I was just accompanying her and observing the laugh while saying “I am fine”. It was the time for Doctor’s round. I again observed the response, “Better than yesterday, but it's paining”.

Somewhere it hit me hard that how to express “Pain”.  What’s the vocabulary to quantify one’s pain? What’s the way to acknowledge one’s pain?

Hey ,its ok, if you are dwelling in your thoughts which may resonate as :

1. Despite an urgent meeting, I stayed home for babysitting
2. I can’t believe I’m upset about something so penny
3. working extra hours, to secure EMI
4. Dropped the job proposal, kids are young
5. You are exaggerating it’s a small wound
6. I’m so sensitive or I’m so stupid for feeling anxious about such issues
7. My today’s meeting went bad

Are you getting me, in these sentences where the pain is placed? I am wondering, what's so difficult in sharing or even acknowledging one’s own or someones else pain? It seems to me that we have learned the art of discounting very well. Maybe it’s the reason that the pain takes the main quotient of our emotions. Block us in its negativity and suffering. Whatever role you are playing professionally or personally, there is a lot to share and consider as "Pain". I Hope, you do agree?

Here is an invite to know communication about “ Pain “: 

• Be approachable:  You know, when people are in pain, they’re less likely to reach out for support, even though they need it. The first important step in supporting someone is to simply reach out. Let them know that you’re there for them. “Don’t be afraid of their pain.” Open a conversation, like :

1. Approaching your conversation without any assumptions.
2. Paraphrasing the other person’s words to make sure you understand, such as: “It sounds like work has been getting tougher because of all these new demands at your job.”
3. Acknowledging how they’re feeling based on what they’ve said so far, such as: “Getting this feedback from your boss is stressing you out.”
4. Finding something positive to say to show you respect them, such as: “I appreciate you trusting me with this problem.”
5. Asking gentle, open-ended questions to better understand what they’re thinking and feeling, such as: “How come?”; “What do you think about …?”; “How do you feel about …?”
6. Accept their emotions,” in now”: Do not minimize someone else’s emotions by saying anything from “You’ll get over it” to “Come on, it’s not that bad” to “Just dust yourself off, and try again.” This kind of talk also focuses on the future and the person is not in the future, he/she is right now in the pain. Show up for them in the present.

• Pain is individual, it’s real: Do not compare it with anyone else. When we’re dealing with difficult emotions, it’s always possible to find a ‘worse’ situation as well as a similar situation. Whether someone else has it worse doesn’t change the emotional pain the person is feeling at this moment. Their pain is real, walking with them in the present moment is the most loving, compassionate thing we can do.
• Acknowledge you don’t know what to say: Sometimes, we don’t know what to say, so we don’t say anything or we don’t acknowledge the pain a person is dealing with. But this sends “the message that you don’t care or aren’t interested or are too uncomfortable to be there for that person. Simply say, “I’m so sorry, I really don’t know what to say right now.”
• Be tangible support: The question “Is there anything I can do?” can actually overwhelm someone who’s in pain. They may not want to burden you or feel overwhelmed by trying to figure out what they want you to do for them. Instead, do something supportive and leave the choice of acceptance on them. For example, “ I am arranging food-stuff for you if you don’t want to have just kept it”

Sitting with someone who’s in pain can be tough. But the most supportive thing we can do is to truly listen and be present with them in that very moment — without trying to fix the situation, making assumptions, making it about ourselves, or minimizing their pain. Remember, need to pay attention to our own pain’s too in the same way, as our body and mind sense it.

Hope, it's good to go now to embrace the person in pain, Just Acknowledge!, It will translate as " You Care".

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