Do Whatever it is You Are Most Afraid of Until You Don’t Remember the Fear Any Longer

The Secret to developing powerful confidence.

“The thing you fear the most has no power. Your fear of it is what has the power. Facing the truth really will set you free” – Oprah Winfrey

It is an amazing feeling to pass through the fear that stops you moving forward. We’ve all been there: you face your phobias and insecurities and on the other side, it’s not only not so bad, it actually feels pretty good. So what was that first bit all about then?

Fear masks reality. It stands in the way of rationalising what is before us. But it’s just emotion. That’s all that separates us from life transforming experiences. It prevents our growth. And every time we retreat from it, we give more power to it.

This happened to me again yesterday. I’ve had life long vertigo. The height itself doesn’t have to be very high. If I can’t see solid ground within easy reach, I experience abject fear of falling and never returning. Such as standing on a rock looking into the sea. While I feel immense curiosity and awe, if I had to jump into the sea at that point, my body reacts in complete panic. Even though the idea of leaping into beautiful clear blue waters seems very appealing to me on another level, something still overtakes my body when I look down.

I experience an irrational fear that I am about to die. Even though my intellectual mind knows that is not the case, but specifically, it’s the fear of the unknown, the plunge – both the bit before I hit the water and then the sinking down below the surface. I feel the sense of utter loss of control, complete vulnerability and a belief that I will plummet and not surface. It is very distressing to say the least. And even though I have tried it a number of times, I’ve not practised jumping enough times to begin to get used to it.

But that is a necessary part of rewiring my brain to process the experience?positively. Because you need to repeat the action over and over. I know this too well from having overcome other very real fears.

Although in those other scenarios, while I wasn’t able to just remove the fear through calm rationalising alone, as some may be able to do, I had to go through the action that caused the panic?until my mind caught up with reality. And with each of those situations, the actual sensation of fear lessened, because my logical mind took over, realising it was not a life or death moment before me. My mind was able to build the powerful new belief based on the equation of:(performing the action) + (being fine) = positive. It was all the evidence I needed to recategorise the experience into something safe, fun, even beneficial.

But this is a useful insight into what the body is actually reacting to. And for me, it certainly wasn’t the incredibly turquoise waters of the Italian river I was about to jump into yesterday. Like with previous attempts before leaping off a rock into the Ionian Sea, I became consumed with one thing: my fear. My fear was driving the experience and influencing my actions. When employing reasonable thinking, I can see that the scene before me was not what was causing the anguish. It was actually the fear itself that triggered the adrenaline of the fight or flight reaction within. And that of course caused my mind to send out the alert to my body for it to brace for danger.

Since this is a mindset issue, we are blessed with the abilities within to correct the irrational responses we feel when in fear. But we need to treat our minds like an animal that requires training. In my experience, there is no better method than exposure therapy: repeat the experience over and over until your mind stops sending out the warning signals to your body and the fear naturally starts to subside.

Once the fear has evaporated, you are free to create a brand new experience that has nothing to do with the original goal of overcoming a fear. In that new gap in your mind, where fear used to park for free, what you would benefit from is allowing yourself to fill the space with?curiosity. Get curious about how else you could benefit from the experience, how you might diversify your technique; let that allow you to improve it. And self recognise your achievement of overcoming your fear and now improving. Focus on bettering the technique and maybe developing it into an expertise. Curiosity can be the perfect gateway to developing passion for what you once avoided.

After that, dare yourself to stretch beyond your limits and increase the challenge if you feel ready. This will foster a self dependence and help you cultivate core confidence as you look back and see how far you’ve come. And it could be for anything at all, it works the same. Whether it’s standing on a stage and speaking into a microphone or speaking newly learnt language skills to a group of locals, or emailing a Jerry Maguire manifesto to all of your colleagues. Do something bigger than you. Do it over and over – and then over again, until you?love?doing it and you even get creative with it. Make the experience?yours; allow yourself to personalise it.

I know that’s exactly how I’ll tackle this fear of mine. I’ll jump fifty or a hundred times if I have to. Because that’s the only way I will own it and it won’t own me.

Pimmi Pande, August 2023.

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This weekly newsletter is formed with carefully crafted posts designed to help readers achieve their success goals with clear cut direction. For those interested in creating more abundance in their lives, the posts motivate readers to adopt a necessary way of thinking with effective practises. These are all based on the experiences of the author.

Pimmi Pande has spent well over twenty years observing the behaviours, practises and characteristics of successful individuals, and those who aspire to be, and assisting individuals in creating fulfilling, successful, lives. A key focus is on how people think and communicate. Pimmi has used the results of research and experience from working in the Film & TV industry, and as a writer, to create communications and mindset practises to great effect with her international clients over the years. Much of the writing shared in this publication is a direct result of this work.?

She now mentors groups and individuals, guiding them towards how to live consciously while achieving more. She also offers motivational speaking opportunities, commissioned writing, and is available for interviews.?

To book a free consultation to work with Pimmi, click here: https://www.pimmipande.com/apply