Do what you can and stop complaining

Things have changed a lot in the past months. Most things, if not all of them, are slightly different or completely opposite to what they used to be. This is the “new reality” that people are talking about.

The way we deal with the situation has a big impact on how we feel, behave and think. It’s also OK to change moods and not feel completely comfortable with the current reality. But I invite you to look at the situation from a different perspective, and hopefully make the most of it and face the next days in a better way.

It’s not fair to generalize and assume that most of us can be happy, learning new skills, enjoying the time off and improving as a person during the quarantine. On the other hand, if we don’t try new things and review our approach to key areas in life, we are not increasing the chances of actually getting something good out of it.

What if we focus on the things we can control, and stop complaining about the ones we can’t control at all?

Humans love the feeling of being in control. We plan events, organize our agendas and commit to activities long term, but in the end, we need to adjust and change things as life happens. Don’t take me wrong: having goals is essential to keep us motivated, to help us prioritizing tasks and to have a reason to celebrate the small steps and progress. But if your previous goals can’t be achieved anymore because the circumstance changed, it’s time to review those goals.

Replacing one goal for another goal is a healthy and smart attitude when things change.

You probably won’t be able to start your world travel trip next week, as you planned to, so maybe you can put that goal “on hold”, and use your time and energy to fulfil another goal. You can also spend your days complaining about “the trip you won’t be able to do now”, feeling sad, miserable and without motivation. I know it’s not as simple as that, but considering other options to deal with what I can’t change or control can be a helpful exercise during those days.

The first challenge is probably narrowing down the situation and identifying the main problem that we have now. Once we can name it and be very specific about it, we can reframe the problem and check if there are other possible approaches to be taken. We can also brainstorm new ways to deal with it, and even go a bit crazy with the ideas and options, before we use logic and rationality to evaluate the “out of the box” possibilities we came up with. 

Testing out new things and behaving in a different way is the next step. Even small changes, if done in a constant way and with a clear intention, can have a big long-term impact in our lives. If what you tested didn’t work out, you can always go back to the list of ideas you had written previously, and test a new one. Or work on new ideas.

?The important thing here is not to give up, and keep in a process that is already making you feel better just for the sake of actively doing something to improve your situation.

Results can take some time to appear, I know that. But I also know that the feeling of walking towards the direction where you want to go is great and keeps you motivated. The nice feeling affects your mood and energy, and step by step, you will start feeling better inside.

The situation outside in the world probably won’t change much in the meantime, but you will already feel a bit stronger and more prepared to face it.

While writing this article, the job searching process was at the back of my mind the whole time. I lost count of how many times I spoke with job seekers in the past weeks who doubted if they should keep their job search or not during these times. My advice was clear: if your goal is to land a new job, and if it motivates you, keep on with the job search. Also, review how you are doing it, and put your focus on the things you can actually control now, and not on the external aspects you have no power to change.

If your case is different and you are not concerned about your career now, good for you! But if there is something else disturbing you, try to identify which are the things you can control, and go deeper into them. Taking action will probably require a drastic shift in your mindset, but if the changes around are also giant, you need to be ready for it.  

The pandemic is making it more obvious that we can’t control things, although we thought we could.

It is also forcing us to review our priorities and plans.

This might not be the happiest time in our existence, but if we can make it less stressful and minimize the “I am useless” feeling, we will thank ourselves for it later on.

I’m Juliana Rabbi, a recruiter-turned-career consultant. I help professionals land their dream jobs. Craft your CV, optimize your LinkedIn and prepare for interviews with a second pair of hands - those of an actual recruiter. I’ve worked as a recruiter and headhunter for over 15 years in multinational companies. I 100% believe that when you are happy with your job, all the other areas of life flow much better. 

#goals #change #jobsearch #flexibility #pandemic