Do we say thank you too often?

Do we say these simple two words too often?

Thank you is a word we probably use thousands of times a year, millions if you are Charity, it is such a commonly used word but are we diluting the meaning or missing the powerful effect that these two words can really mean from one person to another by overuse of the word?

These two words were said to me very recently, by someone very close to me. It was the most meaningful ‘thank you’ I have ever received. It was an unexpected incredibly powerful, memorable, and emotional response to two simple words. Why? Because this person has never said those two words to me before.

This person was my father, my dad.

Several weeks ago, I got news that my dad was unwell, he has not been in great health for a while, but this time he got a fright, he had a mini stroke. Two things happened. I needed to go back to Scotland, and I needed to go now.

For people that know me, they will know the idea of being a frequent visitor to my homeland is not part of my life agenda. Until recently I had only been home once in 16 years. I had zero plans to go back and if I were to consider it, it would be a long thought out trip.

What changed? Well, my dad’s hard man bravado came down. When he called me, I could hear fear in his voice and an unspoken need to see me. I booked the flights to leave a week later and when I told him I was coming home the emotion down the phone was palpable.

Every day he called me until I left, he was beside himself, kept saying it was the best news he has had in years.

After a very long solo journey I finally touched down in my home city, dad waiting to pick me up.

Now the real test was to begin. I was going to be living with my dad, in his one bedroom flat for TWO WHOLE weeks. To put that into context I had not spent a night at my dad’s house for over 25 years, let alone 2 whole weeks.

We had a great time, I could see that my dad was cramming a lifetime of lost and future memories into two short weeks, he coped incredibly well, even though I know he was in a lot of pain. His pride would not let him slow down or waste even a minute of our days together.

We laughed, we argued, we pissed each other off, but we both needed this time together.

I have been selfish to the needs of my family; I have my reasons, but it was time to give my whole self to my dad and I coped pretty well! I also realize how important my trip was to him and how much my refusal or consideration to go home regularly has affected him.

As the days flew past, we both knew they would be over soon. We both don’t know if we will see each other again, both silently dreading the ‘goodbye’ at the airport.

The day to leave arrived, it was a 5am check in at the airport. Getting up at 3.30am meant there was few words spoken that morning both, before we left and journey in the car.

When we arrived at the airport I just wanted to be dropped off. My dad did not need to park and walk in when his legs hurt so much, but mainly let’s get this ‘goodbye’ over with.

I got my cases out of the car. Dad got out the car.

I couldn’t really speak.

Dad says two things.

Thank you.

And as he turned away to get back in the car he said, “Always in my heart girl’ and then he was gone.

No sad goodbye.

A very profound Thank you.

A heartfelt genuine thank you from a stubborn, hard, proud, angry, defiant, and righteous Scottish man and father who does not naturally have those two words in his vocabulary.

This experience has left me seeking the answer to why my dad saying ‘thank you’?will stay will me forever. Yes, it is intrinsically linked to who he is and the journey our relationship has been through, but human relationships and how they make us feel is where we learn from and what can I try and learn from this?

Could we try use these words less often to create a more meaningful impact? Is it our job to let the impact be the ‘thank you’? Can we just tell our supporters through powerful stories, images, and words of the impact they have helped happen, without always saying thank you? So that when we do say Thank you it has more meaning.

I don’t know the answer, but I do know I’ll never forget how that rare thank you made me feel.

Thank you, dad.