Do we really need to get back to live events?

In March 2020, the world stopped. Then, we figured out how to run our businesses online, at least as much as possible. Initially, conferences and live events were postponed, then paused, then cancelled when the realisation set in that 'this thing' wasn't going away anytime soon.

Now, live events are back, and people are debating if this is a good thing. I'm speaking at 6 conferences through to May 2022, and all of these are still online. Personally, my public NLP training is still online. Students and delegates are simply finding the online experience so much more... convenient. And the financial and time cost is a lot lower. And aside from chatting over coffee, the online experience is just as good as the real thing.

Or is it? What are we really missing?

So many people have commented on the social aspect of live events so I'm not going to repeat that. Instead, I would like to explore a deeper issue to do with the content of those social conversations.

For the past 18 months, if you have been working remotely, flexibly, or just from your dining table, you have curated the soundtrack to your life. You have joined meetings which had a more transactional tone than meetings in the office. You got online, sorted out who was on mute, had your discussion and left. In between meetings, you maybe put on your favourite streaming service and watched or listened to what you chose. Perhaps you listened to some podcasts or audiobooks, of your choice. The echo chamber of social media has been discussed already, this is something far more insidious. This is the background noise that you choose for your life. This is the ambient noise that tells you that you are still a part of this world.

Back in the old days, broadcast TV and radio carried a wide variety of content. Some of it was interesting and relevant, some not. But it was all information. If your colleagues in the office were talking about football or soap operas, you knew what they were referring to. Now, the conversation starts, "Hey, you have to watch this on Netflix/Prime/etc it's amazing!" Well, I don't have Netflix. Oh, end of conversation.

For 18 months, in between meetings, you have been alone with your thoughts. You have formed opinions, you have been influenced by social media influencers, you have sought out and curated audio and video content which reinforces those opinions. You have had experiences and feelings and you have come to believe that you're the only person who feels this way, the only person who really knows what's going on, the only person who has figured out the latest trend. You have become an observer to your own life.

Circling back to the subject of this article, the question of returning to live events, I would like to relate this period of forced isolation and content curation to two key points.

First, one of the most vital aspects of any social group or social interaction is to be able to voice your concerns, worries, doubts, fears and to hear other people say, "Yeah... me too". To know that you are not alone in your world is a tremendously powerful and important experience. Too often, our thoughts rattle around inside our heads and never find a voice. It's too easy to begin to think that you're the only person with a particular problem. You're definitely not. A problem shared might not always be a problem halved but it's a start.

Second, there's been much talk of the need for resilience and I put it to you that the most important and underrated way that we develop mental resilience is to talk to people who we disagree with, people who don't inhabit the exact same subjective world. People who prefer different football teams, TV shows, colours, recipes. People who have different experiences of life to whom you can say, "Really? Wow, that's interesting...". Back in the days of the office, people would have conversations, you would overhear agreements, disagreements, creativity in action. You would hear people rethinking their opinions based on new information. You would hear people delighting in new discoveries.

Live events are important. Social chit-chat over coffee is very pleasant, but so what? It's what we talk about that is important.

First, to share your story and hear someone say, "Me too" lets you know you belong, you're not alone, it isn't all sitting on your shoulders.

Second, to hear someone say, "I disagree" lets you know that the world is bigger than the one you've created, there are new ideas out there, new perspectives, that your way isn't the only way. It's not about being right or wrong, it's about broadening your life experience.

I encourage you to return to live events in whatever way helps you feel safe. I encourage you to share your experiences, and to say, "Me too" when it helps someone else to know that they are no longer alone. I encourage you to say, "That's interesting, I see it differently" and to help the people you meet expand and add to the soundtrack to their lives.

You might discover that the world can begin to expand again, and you along with it.

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Peter Freeth is an author, talent and leadership expect, executive coach who can't wait to be in front of a live conference audience again.

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