Do We Need to Be Perfect?

Clearly there is room for human improvement, but we're going about it all wrong. There are so many theories flying around about what we should be doing right now to improve ourselves and our situation, and especially in companies where everyone wants to reach their full potential. Some are about making leadership courses a priority, others are about 'holding space for others' for all the tough stuff we're going through, diversity and inclusion is a very popular topic for conscious leaders, kindness, empathy, listening, gratitude, caring .... the list keeps getting longer, and yet, our situation keeps getting worse. Why is that? Because there is no foundation to all these ideas, and no mutual set of values or priorities binding us together. How can you build a house without a foundation? Or without a blueprint? It's impossible. Our common goal is not clear. We have no knowledge of where we're supposed to go from here. We're dealing with completely new conditions, so leaders are guessing and experimenting, because no one really knows what to do. For example, everyone analyzes everything around them using their five senses. But how do you know that's the right thing to do? Again, we're just guessing. Maybe there's a far more beneficial way to process what's happening around us. But we'll only discover it when we open our minds to new thinking.

What am I proposing? That learning one simple principle will get rid of all our problems. The principle is that every person is perfect just as they are. The whole problem is in our relationships. Because we need to work together, and get along to make things happen - this is where the problem begins. It's our connections that need to be upgraded, not any single individual.

Don't Mess With Perfection

According to the integral method we don't need to change anything about our traits or character, so we shouldn't even think about changing people. All the good we are seeking will come from creating this reservoir of good human connection, just like ants, fish and bees. We humans can also create this power base by learning to improve our relationships. Not necessarily our personal relationships with specific people, but rather all of us in general can leverage the integral method to access this collective power base, which comes with many benefits.

All of us in general can leverage the integral method to access this collective power base, which comes with many benefits.

From Self-Improvement to Collective Improvement

We are who we are because of our genetics, due to our upbringing, and the social environment we grew up in. Once our character is set, we can't really change it. We may be able to smooth the rough edges here and there, but we can't really change it. Most people like some of their traits and qualities and dislike others. For the most part, we like those that we regard as helpful in life, and dislike those we regard as hindering us in relationships or at work.

The good news is that it's not our character that determines if we go through life happily or not—but how we use what we were given. That mainly has to do with how our characters communicate with other people’s characters. The key to happiness is creating the right interaction with other people’s characters so that instead of clashing with each other, we will complement each other’s characters.

The key to happiness is creating the right interaction with other people’s characters so that instead of clashing with each other, we will complement each other’s characters.

Psychology tries to help us get to know ourselves better. It often succeeds, but ultimately, it does not make us happier. What we need to learn is not so much who we are, but how to leverage our qualities to relate and connect positively with one another.

The integral method I'm always talking about is a learning and development program that doesn't work on an individual's personal traits, but rather on how to create that integral, reciprocal connection that us humans lack. The point is not to try to change us, but rather teach us how we can feel more connected to others, reciprocate with them, and derive mutual benefit from each other’s individual traits.

In the process of learning, we discover that we are fine just as we are, and that we need not change anything about ourselves, but only learn how to connect with other people positively. The integral method boosts our self-confidence because it shows us that we have something unique to contribute that no one else has or will ever have, and we can share it and establish our place in the world as positive and significant individuals.

The Influence of The Environment

When a group of people is structured according to the principles of the integral method, its members feel safe and confident because they can rely on each other's support and provide each other with what they cannot provide for themselves. They also feel a deep sense of acceptance and belonging since their own contribution earns them approval from their peers and a sense of affirmation.

Once again I want to remind you that I didn't invent these principles. These are principles that exist in nature, which is the method's main strength - but don't exist in our consciousness yet. So I don't blame you for being skeptical or not taking these concepts seriously.

But if by any chance you do think it's worthwhile, it's really not complicated to apply these principles. We have been conditioned a certain way our whole lives, and actually throughout our evolution. Now that it's no longer working for us, we need to condition ourselves a different way. But the difference is that this time we'll be fully conscious of the process we're going through together, and fully aware of what we're up against.