Do we glorify giving too much?

She’s all in tears.

Her body is in tears.

She’s overwhelmed, beyond her control.

“Tell me how I can help you today?" the physiotherapist asked just this standard question.

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Ally came just for a quick fix.

This morning, she found herself unable to move, her body wracked with pain and exhaustion.

Before she asks her husband to help her dozens of thoughts run through her mind.

“What’s wrong with me? Am I paralyzed? Who will get children ready for school? Who will make dinner for them as my husband can’t leave his job earlier? I have six meetings today, one of them with a key customer – I can’t leave my boss without support. How does my team deliver without me? Who will help my mom with my immobile dad today? If I end up in a wheelchair, how will I take care of my little ones?”

The mind of a giver.

She’s in pain, she can’t move and what she’s most concerned about are others.

Her name is Ally, but I met many others like her.

Women and men.

Caring, supportive, providing.

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Superwomen and supermen.?

Servant leaders. Loving parents. Caring hearts.

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Admired, recognized, appreciated. Loved.

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Until at some point, they wake up and cannot move, some collapse with burnout, and others are diagnosed with severe depression, cancer or autoimmune diseases attacking their bodies.

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Ally, is the rock, the constant giver. But giving without balance always takes its toll.

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“You know your body is trying to tell you something, don’t you?” her physiotherapist knows that the weight that blocked her back is more than physical.

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Ally comes to me completely uncomfortable asking for help.

No surprise. She’s so used to giving all of herself.

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We went through her journey of how she got into this place and when her young mind confused self-worth with self-sacrifice.

And she understood she needs and wants so much more from life than recognition for being a superhero.

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Many of those who are conditioned to give endlessly, often neglect their own needs. Applauded for selflessness, suffering in silence the consequences of this unbalanced exchange.

Now imagine giving and receiving as… a breath.

You take a breath in, and you give it away.

You don’t even think about it.

It’s perfectly balanced.

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But imagine for a moment, that like Ally, you keep giving, giving, giving… you exhale, exhale, exhale…

No wonder Ally's body collapsed and refused to continue.

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Luckily for her, her body took over.

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You have a brilliant body too.

A body that knows what to do.

How to keep you alive.

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And giving, giving, giving… even with the best intentions, and with the best gratitude back is not living.

Breathe in and breathe out.

Ally relearnt this balance.

Have you?

So, as we embrace this festive season, let's not just celebrate giving but also the beauty of receiving.

Look around you, at those who always seem to be there for others. Think about how you can support them, how you can help them find balance, and give the gift of attention, understanding, and permission to rest and be cared for.

And look in the mirror too.

And breathe in and breathe out.

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Happy Receiving Season, everyone!

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#MentalHealth is #health.

Make #future better than the past.

#Unfear?

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