1. Do Not Recruit Children to Your Side
Divorcing Parents Must Avoid Wanting Their Kids to Choose Between Mom and Dad
by Michael Heath
Divorce is an emotional event that often causes spouses to act in ways they may not normally act. Anger, betrayal, regret, and guilt can fog one’s decision making. People may take actions with their children without realizing what they are doing.
Choosing is Losing
Children have two parents. They should be allowed to love and enjoy both. Tearing down the bond between a child and a parent is not just selfish, it is outright child abuse. Just as cruel is requiring offspring to “spy” on the other parent. Children are entitled to a normal environment when in the company of the other parent. Instructing a youngster to be “sneaky” is teaching an impressionable young person bad behavior. Teaching such bad behavior can have long-term consequences.
What to Do
Marital breakups are common. Fortunately, children are resilient. That does not mean divorce cannot have devastating effects. Both parents need to be very cognizant of how the breakup is affecting their children while taking steps to lessen any implications. A great place to start is the complete downloadable blog Tips for Divorcing Parents list found on thecourtlessdivorce.com website.
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collaborative professional, high conflict and divorce support, family therapist,parenting expert, individual, couples, family services.
2 个月Children have a birth right to have a healthy and loving relationship with both of their parents regardless of how their parents feel about each other. All the parents I work with tell me that their children are their most important priorities in this process. Recruiting your child to your side contradicts this statement. Letting them love both parents is loving your children.
Expert Coparenting Guidance | Author of Coparenting Compass | Strategic Solutions & Actionable Insights for Effective Coparenting| Helping Motivated Parents Navigate Their Coparenting Journey Effectively
3 个月Recruiting children to 'take sides' in coparenting creates unnecessary emotional burdens for them. Kids need a safe, neutral space to grow, not to be caught in adult conflicts. Coparents should keep their kids at the center, not put them in the middle, that protects their well-being and strengthens their trust in both parents.