Do People Say This About You?

Just recently I was watching an interview with Daniel Cormier, a retired Mixed Martial Arts double champion (two weight divisions.)

He was talking about his friend and teammate Khabib Nurgamedov who had just retired after winning his 29th match without ever suffering a defeat.

Khabib is legendary in the MMA community, not just because of his record and skill, but because of?his mental toughness, work ethic, and the honorable way he carries himself in a sport where trash talking and obnoxious behavior towards opponents are often seen as necessary ways to get in the spotlight.

He embodies what martial arts is about: honor, respect, discipline, and working on developing an indomitable spirit. He’s someone in professional sports who is worthy of being a role model.

Anyway…this is what Daniel Cormier said about Khabib:

“To know Khabib is to be a better person…the more you get to know him…you become a better person for it.”

I remember stopping my workout, and writing this down.

I thought: “This is something we should all strive to be worthy of.” ?

I know I really strive to be that kind of person…I don’t always succeed for sure… I catch myself being negative or enjoying myself a bit too much making fun of someone’s eye roll worthy behavior with a friend, but I definitely strive to act in ways that are worth emulating.

What about you?

Are you mindful of how you can be a role model simply by how you show up?

How close to: “To know your name is to be a better person…the more you get to know your name…you become a better person for it” would you say you are at the moment?

How might you be more worthy of that statement?

To build on this question, let’s look at this next short story…

The impact we can have simply by how we show up was made clear by participant’s comment about their supervisor, in an online class I did this week for supervisors.

I was talking about these two concepts:

1.?????You are Pavlov’s Bell—People associate with you the dominant emotional theme of their interactions with you. If you are typically optimistic, helpful, thoughtful, encouraging, and good natured, you will be a “positive Pavlov’s Bell” to others. Just your presence will uplift them. Conversely, if you typically focus on what’s wrong, criticize and never compliment, spread gossip, or are moody, you will be a “negative Pavlov’s Bell”?they will associate negative emotions with you, whether in person, through voice mail, email, or text. Thus, it’s important for each of us to ask “What kind of a Pavlov’s Bell am I?”

2.?????Whether you are seen by others as an Energizer or De-Energizer has HUGE implications—I was sharing the fascinating research by Dr. Rob Cross on how this was by far the greatest determinant of how effective people were in organizations.

I asked participants to think about people they worked with and how they felt emotionally and energetically afterwards.

I asked them to notice the different impact people have and what it was about the Energizers and “Positive Pavlov Bell” people that made their impact so positive and so different than their opposite.

When I asked them to think of someone whose presence was uplifting, one participant said “As soon as you said that, I started thinking about my supervisor Mike.” Her colleagues immediately joined in, singing his praises. One said that he wants to model himself after Mike.

So What About You…and Me?

So…how about if we both focus on ol’ Khabib and Mike and either continue practicing being mindful of how we can “be the change we wish to see” or start becoming more mindful of that?

Maybe notice people you admire in action and notice what qualities they embody and reflect on whether you do and/or how you can more full embody those.

I’ll be joining you in this…

?P.S. Whoever came to mind when you read about people being a “positive Pavlov’s Bell”, an Energizer, or a role model…how about shooting them out a text, voice mail, or email and let them know.

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Upcoming Online Classes by David Lee

Let's Talk for a Change: How to Create Psychological Safety So People Speak Up and Say What Needs to Be Said – 11/16

Transcending Differences: Whether Generational, Personality Style, Cultural or Otherwise – 12/4

Make Every Day “Bring Your Best Self to Work Day” – 12/16 online

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