Do One Thing

My grandparents, mom (at 17 and so poised!), aunt and uncle in 1962 at a debutante event in Detroit.         

Last month, I shared how my hopeful mortgage payoff for my mom led me on a path of uncomfortable discovery. Many of you have reached out and shared how hard it is to even know where to start. So, I thought I’d share from my own experience.?

At?TIAA, we’re in our second year of our Be the Change initiative. As you’ve likely seen, our CEO?Thasunda Brown Duckett, a leader and?difference maker?in her own right, has challenged us to do one thing to be the change. It’s an understanding that?making real, lasting, impactful change happens one step at a time.?

With this in mind, I’m?taking the #DoOneThing approach and encourage you to do the same.?

Have a conversation.?As you may have guessed from my story, this?step?is the hardest. It’s understandable that we don’t feel comfortable talking about money or the loss of loved ones. But, knowing that?83 percent of Black seniors aren’t ready for retirement?means it’s too important to allow the discomfort to hold us back.?Start with something as simple as asking where important?documents?– financial statements, wills,?insurance policies, etc.– are kept. You may find everything neatly tucked away in a folder. You may find everything in the bottom of a closet in a shoe box. Or there may be formal plans in place unbeknownst to you. Either way, this is the most important first step, because you’re starting the conversation.

Find some help.?This stuff isn’t intuitive or just plain common sense. I’d like to believe that as a lawyer and engineer myself, I can figure it out -- but I recognize that I can’t and shouldn’t just try to figure out my mom’s financial standing and all the related legalities.?It's both complicated and emotional.?

Planning can feel unwieldy. Thankfully, there are people who are trained?to help you understand and take control of financial and retirement planning. Depending on your circumstances, you may need to speak with a?retirement consultant?or an attorney. In my mom’s case, we need to seek counsel from a lawyer who specializes in trusts, wills, and estates. This?is?key for her to be able to pass?on?the assets she and my father spent decades?building to her grandchildren and ensure she can make the most of her retirement.?

Understand and defy the history.?It’s Black History Month and I’d be remiss if I didn’t revisit the historical context of the persistent racial wealth gap. Consider Tulsa's destruction of its Black Wall Street community 100 years ago last year. JB Stradford,?one?of the Black hoteliers?in Tulsa, lost the bulk of his fortune when his properties were burned. Due to the impact of unbridled racism, the successful entrepreneur and attorney never recovered financially and left little for his children.

My?granddad who fled?Mississippi in the 1940s with a third grade education, made it to?Detroit, worked in a tire plant for 35 years?while amassing small businesses and rental properties,?died in 1988 without an estate plan.?This meant the assets he impressively built were not passed with savvy that could have really benefitted our family for generations to come.?

Today,?as shared,?my mother wants to pass on her only home and isn’t in a place to do so still saddled with a bad mortgage after 30 years in her and my late dad's home.?The gap is real?and evident in each generation of folks who miss out on the advantages of inherited wealth.??

While every person has a unique situation, each of us needs?a game plan. We’re working on my mom’s now and even though?it was a tough conversation to start, we’re on the way to more stability for her and her grandchildren.?It’s not easy, but we can all #DoOneThing to #BeTheChange.

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