Do I Have to Love My Enemy - Part 2

About three weeks ago, I wrote about how hard it actually is to love my enemy. I appreciate the encouragement and connection with all of you who took the time to read it – thank you! I shared the struggle that I wrote about in a small group of men who I have known for years. They also connected with the struggle and importance of loving our enemies.

One of my friends, Rick, in response, shared a personal story about someone who was an enemy to him – a man who had an affair with his wife, resulting in the breakup of their marriage. His story gave me clarity about the first step in trying to love my enemy – with his permission, I share that story here.

When Rick found out about the affair, he was naturally devastated. Not knowing what else to do, he went to his pastor, who said immediately, “We must pray for this man!” (Again, this seems counter-cultural. At least, it is counter to what I would want to do at that point.) Amazingly, that is he began to do – to pray for the man who cheated with his wife and broke up his marriage.

Later, the now ex-wife had the wonderful idea that Rick and the other man should meet – father and stepfather. This did not thrill Rick, but he agreed, and when they met, he crossed all boundaries that most of us would have set, and literally hugged the man – hugged the person who helped break up his marriage.

The man was taken aback, but a connection had been formed, one that would prove important over the years. As it turns out this man, the now stepfather, was the biological father of Rick’s son. He continued to pray for him over the years.

His son passed away at the age of 35, after years of battling addiction. At the luncheon after the memorial service, my friend got up to affirm his “enemy,” saying that he had been more of a father to him than my friend had, all these years. Imagine the impact on those who knew the situation – actually, I cannot imagine the impact; it is too unusual and life-changing to comprehend. But it is truly love in action, and his action will have ripple effects on all who witnessed his example.

The potential for love is in each of us, as is the potential for hatred, and when we are hurt, it gets tougher to choose love – at least it is for me. I have been helped by the Apostle Paul’s description of our true enemy. He says our struggle is not against “flesh and blood,” but against the “powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil” (Ephesians 6:12). It helps me to remember that the challenge to love instead of hate is in each of us. It is not the person who is my “enemy,” but the spiritual forces at work in him, and in me. When Jesus prayed to his Father to forgive his executors, he said, “Forgive them, for they know not what they do.” I can remember that, and also not forget that God works, even using what appears to be evil for good. I know I will remember my friend’s story and example for a long time, as will all who witnessed his simple, yet transformative example of love.

And I will remember to stop and pray for those I would rather judge or resent – it gets a lot easier to love them if I am praying for them!