Do I ever feel like quitting my digital business? Of course I do!

The original version of this post first appeared on my website LorraineCLadish.com.

People ask me this often. Do I ever feel like quitting my digital business? Do I have doubts? Do I ever feel down?

And of course, the answer is a resounding YES! In fact, it happens quite often.

While it′s true that I enjoy being an entrepreneur, I admit that I am more of a creative soul. I love cooking up new projects, thinking of new books to write, and learning how to take better photos and videos.

I do not enjoy administrative work, balancing checkbooks, or dealing with cash flow issues.

Of course, I try to hire people who are better than I am at all of those things, but sometimes I do have to face situations and moments that I′d rather not have to deal with!

On a good month, when the bank account is in the black and my inbox is rife with interesting and fun business proposals, I feel empowered, joyful, and ready to take on the world.

But when a client′s payment is delayed and I still have to pay my team, when the answers to sponsorship proposals aren′t coming in fast enough, when I read a nasty comment on social media … yes, I feel like quitting.

I take pride in the fact that I′ve been self-employed all my life, that′s over four decades of hustling for myself, by choice. I′m allergic to jobs – I′ve been that way ever since I started working part-time at the young age of 15 and full-time at 19.

And yet, on a bad day, the kind that all creatives and entrepreneurs have from time to time, I will burst out sobbing, and tell my husband: “Maybe I should get a job!!!!” Who am I kidding anyway, I'm 60 now and unless someone realizes age doesn't get in the way of my smarts or productivity, I'm unemployable.

On top of that I know perfectly well that even if I were younger, I am not 9-5 job material. That said once in a while throughout my life I've done job searches!

That′s why, sometimes, my friends and peers get leads from me! While I rhetorically job-hunt for myself, I find interesting positions for people who are better suited for that kind of work environment.

I prefer the possibility of “the sky′s the limit” daily to the supposed security of a job that always pays the same amount of money every month. Yes, even when it means that there are times when I gotta pull out those credit cards to make ends meet.

So here′s the thing. I′ve been doing the self-employed dance for such a long time that I know that just like PMS (which I no longer suffer from given my age,) the "I want to quit" feeling also passes.

When you are running your own business or pursuing creative endeavors, feeling overwhelmed, down, and doubtful, goes hand in hand with feeling proud, joyful, and filled with inspiration

I′ve simply learned to ride out the waves of desperation and enjoy the calm after those storms. I mean, age indeed brings with it cartloads of experience. It's up to me to learn from it!

In case it helps, what I do when I feel like throwing my laptop against the wall, checking out of social media forever, or getting a “real job,” is:

• Talk it out with my husband, who is a published author and former photojournalist. He completely gets it. He then reminds me of how happy I was just two days ago or how I will feel revitalized when the next check comes in or my book agent writes back!
• Drop everything and take the day off or chill for a few hours. I don′t announce it on social media. I don′t go on angry rants. I quietly retire into my cocoon and surely enough a day or two later, I′m all excited and energized, all over again.
• Do something nice for myself, like get a massage, go to the beach (I know, I′m lucky that I live close to it!), do my hair, take a nap, or read a good book.
• Write down all the things that are good in my life. This is a constant for me. I keep an ongoing gratitude list and rereading it makes me feel wonderful.
• Throw myself into some kind of physical activity. I used to run and dance. Now I practice yoga and lift weights. It doesn′t matter what kind of fitness routine, it always helps me feel better. I also meditate, something I never thought myself capable of doing.

At some point in life, I made peace with the rollercoaster of emotions that come with being creative and now, running a digital business. So, yes, I feel like quitting, relatively often. But I never do. That′s how I keep moving forward.