Do coaches really follow the Client’s Agenda?

As coaches, we like to think so. But is that the case in reality?

Following the client's agenda is one of the main pillars of coaching. It helps us understand the context of the client's situation so we can support them to move forward. In that, we are able to recognize their pain points, thinking patterns, and what they want to get out of the coaching engagement.

Yet, sometimes, we get tempted by other issues that may emerge throughout the session. Issues that we may find very compelling and possibly more important to address, as it could be the root cause of the client's presented challenges.

Other times, it might show up at the goal-setting part of the session, especially if we believe that the client is now aware of their obstacles, and it's time to take action!

Goal Setting:

In that context, we are likely operating from a place of service, with the intention of helping the client move forward. However,

What if the client is not there yet?

Or just doesn’t feel like making a change despite being aware of their issue?

For some coaches, this could be very frustrating, especially if they are a "fixer" and very goal-oriented. Then the question becomes, Now what?

Are you a “fixer” too?

I admit that I have fallen into this trap a few times. I caught myself trying so hard to orient the client towards setting a concrete goal and asking leading questions in my attempts to do so. Other times, I was able to give clients space when they felt more comfortable discussing the issue further without necessarily taking action. When I look back at this, I realize that I was too invested in the client's progress that I took that route without asking for permission. 

It’s worth mentioning that even after recognizing that pushing the client towards setting goals was not necessarily the best thing for them at that point, I still experienced some frustration. Contrastingly, the client was completely content with where they were and the progress they have made in terms of gaining self-awareness.

Upon being in inquiry with myself, I realize that this could be due to my strong desire to see tangible progress with my clients. Yet, the truth of the matter is, if we push too much, we might break the person in front of us.

Furthermore, if we as coaches are experiencing frustration or discomfort, clients are likely experiencing their own frustration from feeling pressured to take action or to go in a direction that they didn't sign up for.

Importance of the Check-in:

In general, check-ins with the client throughout the session add immense value to the coaching experience, ensuring that we are in alignment with the client’s agenda even when we are challenging them out of their comfort zone.

Moreover, even if we don't drift from the client's agenda, check-ins could provide an excellent opportunity for the client to reflect and possibly provide us with pieces of information or realizations that they were not present to before.

Techniques to catch yourself and be with the client:

• Practice checking-in at least twice throughout the session, especially if you’re a new coach. After all, if that doesn’t add value, it certainly wouldn't hurt.
• Practice checking-in with yourself during the session as well. See if you’re present to the client in front you or stuck in your own head.
• Immediacy: Sharing your here and now experience with the client. So even if you see another area that desperately needs exploring, you can simply point that out and give the client the option to examine what’s more significant to them at that moment.
• Detach yourself from the client's outcomes and meet them where they are.

On a final note, having the client's best interest in mind and serving them is our purpose. Yet, it doesn't hurt to check in with the client, to make sure that we are moving forward together.