Do not avoid success: going beyond what we master

Happiness keeps you sweet, Trials keep you strong

Sorrows keep you human, Failures keep you humble

            Success keeps you glowing!

Back in the day when I was in Melbourne, Australia on an international student conference, I spoke on the radio for the very first time! It was ‘on air’ so no opportunity to edit or re-state what I say. It certainly gave me a boost and a ‘yes I can’ feeling which I carried with me the next time I was invited to speak on the radio. The second time was in Cairo at the landmark Maspero building. The first time on the radio went fine, but it was not ‘perfect’ and that’s perfectly fine! I was probably 19 years old at the time and it was great to have an opportunity to try something new. The Australia experience encouraged me to say ‘yes’ the next time I was invited to speak on air in Egypt.

‘When was the last time you did something for the first time?’ this catching phrase was the tagline for an advertisement. Stop and reflect, in your own experience, when was the last time indeed? How was it? What did you learn? Where was the pain and the gain?

When we visit a country for the first time, or embark on a new task or initiative for the first time, we open the gates to new frontiers and new possibilities. We take a break from routine and the mundane. We expand and spread our wings!

Sometimes life throws these opportunities our way, and we can either have the courage to pursue them and expand our reach, or shrink and stay with what we know best, what we have already mastered and therefore limit our self and live in self-imposed boundaries. 

Courage is not the lack of fear, but the ability to go ahead in spite of it. As the saying goes ‘Courage is fear having said its prayers’. Better still, others create situations where they go beyond their current expertise or skill set instead of waiting until life throws those challenges (also read opportunities) in their path.

In her YouTube video entitled ‘Resilience: The Art of Failing Forward’, Sasha Shillcutt, shares her personal experience as well as the research. Professionals who are perfectionists tend to show signs of anxiety and depression if there are errors in their performance or if they do not achieve perfection. On the other hand, those who allow for a margin of error, and know that there is a learning curve, tend to handle matters better and to be more resilient.

If we wait for perfection, we may never go beyond what we already master.

Reflecting on the COVID 19 situation we are now faced with new, unfamiliar and unique challenges for the very first time. How do we respond to that?

In the current city where I am confined, all barber shops/hairdressers have been closed for several months as a social distancing measure and a health precaution. A challenge I have never faced in my life-time before. I was left with no option but to cut my own hair. I hesitated a lot, felt that it was too technical a skill and that failure would be a very public affair. Any errors would be visible to everyone and particularly on Zoom calls.

After procrastinating this task, I finally went ahead and performed a DIY (do it yourself) haircut.  The outcome was completely unsatisfactory, as this skill was well beyond what I already master. That said, I decided to take this in my stride and not allow it to cause a sour taste. I accepted the beginner’s failure and found that it was a learning experience. Next time around, I’d be able to build on my first experience, do it well and forever save commuting time and money on hair dressers.  F.A.I.L = First Attempt in Learning

“When you take risks you learn that there will be times when you succeed and there will be times when you fail, and both are equally important.” Ellen DeGeneres

‘Success is not final, failure is not fatal, it is the courage to continue that counts’ – Sir Winston Churchill

On the long term, this experience is indeed a success, as the long-term gain is certainly worth the short-term hiccup or glitch.

I would like to conclude by encouraging parents, educators and leaders to nurture a culture where experimentation is encouraged and where we are supported to try new things. 

There are global organizations which encourage their senior leaders to talk about their failures. This is very important as it enhances trust in leaders. If leaders are constantly trying to paint themselves as ‘perfect’, they come across as fake and not authentic and this does not lead to trust. 

Leaders are perceived as more human and approachable when they speak about their ‘lessons learned’. When they do so, they encourage their followers to take risks and not be over concerned about the possibility of failure, or about trying new things and conquering new frontiers. If a company sticks to the technology and processes or markets it has mastered, how can it grow, expand or change with the times?

As the famous saying goes: you never fail until you stop trying!

When followers hide their failures because they emulate their ‘perfect leaders’, corporate disasters take place, as issues are not being admitted and are not being faced at an early stage. 

If you wish to encourage a culture of accountability, leaders ought to walk the talk and admit their failures. In fact some companies mandate that their leaders do so publicly in internal meetings. Hence, role modelling humility and a more realistic depiction of leadership and the often bumpy road to success. 

I recall hearing the phrase, ‘I am proud of both my successes and my failures, for both of them combined make me the person I am today. I have learned from both’.  Wise words indeed, which I must admit I did not fully comprehend at an earlier chapter in my life. It does take time to come to terms with the value of experimenting, imperfection and evolving over time.

“Winners are not afraid of losing. But losers are. Failure is part of the process of success. People who avoid failure also avoid success.” Robert T. Kiyosaki

Ayman Madkour’s motto is “Be inspired, Be inspiring”. He is a Middle East based professional with a global exposure to 37 countries on five continents. He is a certified Talent, Human Resources and Leadership development consultant and senior facilitator, coach, assessor, story teller and author. Ayman delivers support to individuals as well as private, public, governmental and non-profit organizations in person and virtually. He is passionate about leadership development, coaching, corporate social responsibility, change management and transformation initiatives, workplace excellence and wellbeing and other consulting initiatives, to name a few of the areas which see him glow with enthusiasm.