DMX Deserved Better, And So Does The Rest Of The Fam

Even for those of us that did not know Earl Simmons, aka DMX, he was fam. Fam that you may not have known, but you met a thousand times at your family reunions, birthday parties, funerals, repasts, in your neighborhood, your cuzzo, brother, sister, mama, daddy, big mama, grandpops. You knew DMX, you just didn’t recognize him. Believe me, we all knew him. We knew his heart, we knew the tears behind the growl, we knew the fear inside the Ruff Ryder. We knew the anguish and the never-ending hole of trying to get some love in all the wrong places and coming up emptier each time. 

As we gather and share our stories and favorite DMX songs, look for the ticket to one of the concerts we attended, binge on Youtube videos to just learn more about him or meet him for the first time, we pause. That part of us that knows him as fam, through similar life experiences or the connection that comes because genuine real recognizes real, causes us to pause and to feel the pain of loss and the torturous pain that can come with living without ever having the devastating layers of trauma you’ve experienced repaired.

As much as we have read or will hear about DMX in the upcoming days, I bet we will not hear his ACE score. Do you know yours? 

Adverse childhood experiences, known as ACEs, are potentially traumatic events that occur in childhood (0-17 years). ACEs can include:

• Experiencing violence, abuse, or neglect;
• Witnessing violence in the home or community;
• Having a family member attempt or die by suicide;
• Living in a household where someone, particularly a parent or other primary caregiver had substance use problems, mental health problems, or instability due to parental separation or household members being in jail or prison.

ACEs are assessed through a 10 question assessment of incidents that occurred before your 18th birthday. The higher number of ACEs experienced, the greater risk for chronic health problems, mental illness, and substance use problems in adulthood. ACEs can also negatively impact education, job opportunities, and earning potential.

Did any of his managers, agents, money handlers, or even the mental health professionals and other professional interveners he encountered along the way know his ACE score? Did they why it was so hard for him to get up when he fell? If every time you try to get up the entire weight of your childhood trauma keeps making you slip, why wouldn’t you be exhausted and turn toward that thing that quieted the internal drama, even if it only did so for a minute?

ACEs are common. About 61% of adults surveyed across 25 states reported that they had experienced at least one type of ACE, and nearly 1 in 6 reported they had experienced four or more types of ACEs. If you look at those numbers, it’s clear that either those outcomes apply to you or someone you know. Given the prevalence of childhood trauma, why aren’t the entertainment industry managers and professional sports teams placing mental health care and treatment at the top of their agenda? If it is worth the financial advantage to exploit men and women, especially those that are likely to have grown up in the midst of countless adverse childhood experiences, why aren’t their lives valuable enough to set them up for personal and professional success by screening for trauma, chronic stress, the traumatic impact of racism and other mental health issues? These are men and women that are financially secure and can afford the best available mental health care delivered by mental health professionals that look like them and understand their experiences. Moreover, their “owners'' are well situated to include these specific services for screening and treating in the healthcare package for the entertainer, professional athlete, and their family.

Not only should we be aggressively screening for and treating ACEs, we should be dedicating ourselves to preventing them. Preventing ACEs could potentially reduce a large number of health conditions. For example, up to 1.9 million cases of heart disease and 21 million cases of depression could have been potentially avoided by preventing ACEs. Some children are at greater risk than others depending on their environment and the childhoods their own parents had. Women and many racial/ethnic minority groups are at greater risk for having experienced 4 or more types of ACEs.

ACEs aren’t just traumatic, they’re costly. The economic and social costs to families, communities, and society caused by childhood trauma certainly number in the hundreds of billions of dollars each year. And the consequences of this epidemic are everywhere.

What are some of those consequences? Well, “untimely death,” incarceration, addiction, disrupted family systems, and intergenerational trauma to start. It angers me to see our DMX’s death described as “untimely,” when in fact it is quite a miracle that he lived as long as he did.

ACEs can have lasting, negative effects on health and wellbeing, as well as life opportunities such as education and job potential. These experiences can increase the risks of injury, sexually transmitted infections, maternal and child health problems (including teen pregnancy, pregnancy complications, and fetal death), involvement in sex trafficking, and a wide range of chronic diseases and leading causes of death such as cancer, diabetes, heart disease, and suicide. ACEs and the associated social impacts on health, such as living in under-resourced or racially segregated neighborhoods, frequently moving, and experiencing food insecurity, can cause toxic stress (extended or prolonged stress). Toxic stress from ACEs can change brain development and affect such things as attention, decision-making, learning, and stress regulation.

Children growing up with toxic stress may have difficulty forming healthy and stable relationships. They may also have unstable work histories as adults and struggle with finances, jobs, and depression throughout life. These effects can also be passed on to their own children. Some children may face further exposure to toxic stress from historical and ongoing traumas due to systemic racism or the impacts of poverty resulting from limited educational and economic opportunities. For DMX, it was a combination of so much of this toxic stress that stayed on his shoulders for the rest of his life.

Fam, we are amazingly resilient. Our resilience is our superpower. We have seen a lot, lived through a lot, and done a lot, and we have the persistence to keep getting up. How much more can that superpower be leveraged if we share our stories of struggle and overcoming and if we take the “crazy” out of identifying as someone with a mental illness? Our mental, spiritual, and physical health are all connected. That inability to commit in relationships, the pursuit of more, addictions and escapes, the Ruff Ryder exterior, the inability to be still, can all be connected to your ACEs score. If we demystify trauma and focus on healing in BIPOC communities, we have an opportunity to fall down less and get up more as a collective.

RIP Earl Simmons, DMX. You made meaning out of your suffering, you helped us to see ourselves in you, and your Bible studies and other words of wisdom remind us that in our vulnerability, we become strong and that there is a way through - and that we can’t find that way alone.

Slippin’ by DMX:

See, to live is to suffer but to survive

Well, that's to find meaning in the suffering

Ay yo I'm slippin' I'm fallin' I can't get up

Ay yo I'm slippin' I'm fallin' I can't get up

Ay yo I'm slippin' I'm fallin' I gots to get up

Get me back on my feet so I can tear shit up