Divorce/Separation - Delaying the inevitable and choosing the process that's right for you.

If one of you have drawn the line in the sand and uttered the words "I want a divorce," the first stage is filled with fear, anxiety, stress and uncertainty however as days and weeks go on, some of the other emotions take over; anger and blame which can result in someone saying something that isn't easily taken back. If you were hoping to end things amicably time can sometimes work against both of you.

Getting educated on what happens now should be your very first step, regardless if you choose to speak to a lawyer, a counselor, a pastor or a mediator, weigh the pros and cons of what process you'll choose to get to an agreement with your spouse regarding your property, your kids, support etc.. Our instinct is to run to someone else to take over and make it go away which can lead to us losing control over the outcome and and making things way more complicated than it needed to be, so do your homework.

Mediation = you both have a voice to the outcome, you're both a part of the process so there are no surprises, a resolve is quicker and less costly than litigation, there isn't the need to 'serve' ugly orders between one another and in the end hopefully you can say that you did what you could under a difficult situation, but you survived and were able to start over again.

Litigation = immediate opposing sides of the arena filled with tension, fear and unnecessary costs that don't end up being easy to manage when you're already splitting up your networth between the two of you. Endless months and sometimes years before getting to an agreement leaving you stalemated and stuck in the "unknown" phase and in the end you likely hate one another so much that co-parenting will continue to add nothing, but stress and anxiety for all of you.

Agree to NOT set out to destroy one another so there's nothing left, but legal bills to pay.

Choose your process wisely!