Divorce have increased during the pandemic.

Divorce My Story

www.patricia-lavigne.com 416-312-6983 [email protected]

Going through a Divorce is one of the most difficult situations you need to deal with in your life. I know I been there. 

Hi! my name is Patricia Lavigne Separation & Divorce Coach and I’m here with you today to tell you about why I want to help other and tell you about my experience.

I was doomed from my childhood as my parents split up when I was four. Growing up with the wicked stepmother syndrome. Being physically, mentally, sexually abused as a child my life was incredibly challenging. At the age of 12 I started planning my escape to leave home. I remember sitting in the back of my dad’s car and telling him I was going to leave home at the age of 16. Growing up fast was not an option.

Leaving home at a young age and being brought up in an unstable environment. With no guidance, tools, or life skills to help me figure out my life. Everything was a learning experience, and I made a lot of mistakes along the way. I had no experience in life skills, finances or finding true love.

Although, I did gain a lot of insight. I call my self the subject matter expert when it comes to DIVORCE because I was not only married once I was married twice.

The first time was a 5-year relationship. I was young and na?ve. He was a hard-working man and, on a mission, to build a business. I’m sure he is successful today. But he was not putting any effort into the marriage. He became so controlling and jealous. He monitored everywhere I went, If I looked at another man, he became so jealous. He became aggressive and physical (pulled my hair when he thought I was looking at another man). I felt smothered and couldn’t breathe. I knew the marriage was not going to last. So, I ended the marriage.

My second marriage lasted 11 years. I thought I found true love. He was a very hard-working man, funny, good looking, and caring person. But I ask myself.

·      Was this true love?

·      Is he the man on a white horse to come and steal my heart?

·      Is he the guy that sweeps you off your feet?

·      What is a good marriage?

Having a true relationship is someone who will stand by you during good or bad moments. Support each other’s faults. Build communication and trust. Create a foundation for your future together and your family. Contribute financially, emotionally, and physically in the relationship. Have fun and laugh together. Be best friends.

Well, that was not the case with my marriage. Overtime the marriage started breaking down.

Marriage difficulties started with previous debt, gambling, lying and eventually cheating. I knew the marriage was not working, it was time to end the marriage.

When my family found out the marriage was over, they were upset. They knew their life would change. I was the drop-in center for all family gatherings. I was the one who would prepare the meals for Christmas, birthday all social events etc.

They were angry at me because their life was going to change. They were more concerned about themselves then my feelings or what I was going through.

I lost my house, no money, a bit of furniture, kids to raise and start my life all over again.

I was scared, I had a huge responsibility with my two kids at the age 6 ? and 2 ? to raise,

It took me a long time to get my life back. I was lost and didn’t know what direction to take. I would go to work, pick up the kids, make dinner, prepare them for the next day. This was my life, I didn’t date, I had no one to help me with my kids as my family was not there for me when I needed them. I was alone and had to rebuild a new life on my own. Even my kids father abandoned us.

I will never forget the time I was turning 40 and a few friends had a small party and for me. I appreciated the invite and how they made it a special day. But I was dying inside, I could not believe I was 40, single mom, 2 kids, living in an apartment and didn’t’ really have a life.

I felt stuck, I felt alone. I had to make a drastic change in my life.

My belief is when you are going through a situation in your life it’s like a storm that comes and creates damage around you. But it’s the after effect of rebuilding helps you see life in a different prospective or gets you stronger for the next time.

I have had many ups and downs in my life and faced many storms. But I look back and say it has made me become a stronger, independent woman. It helped me face my challenges in life. 

You have a choice, you can accept and become a victim of your past or you can accept and make a choice to change it and make it better. I made a decision to change it.

If you’re ready to make a changes for the better. Let me help you get through the storm. 

Trust me, I know what you’re feeling and how confusing this experience can be for you. That is why I want to help you through this difficult time in your life.

I am living proof that you can get through this and achieve your goals. 

You don’t have to do this alone. I want to help get started on your new life and work on yourself. But before you can do that you have to clear the road to get to your destination in life.

On a scale of 1-10 what are you feeling right now and what do you need to do to get to a 10.

The first step to prepare for this new chapter in your life. I’m sure with the shock of loosing your marriage it becomes an emotional rollercoaster. You’re crying all the time, confused, and have no clue what to do first.

This is probably your first divorce and I understand you don’t have all the answers and your probably either reaching out to your friends or family that is telling you to move out, get over it, saying nasty things about your ex-partner. That is the last thing you want or need right now.

Your life becomes exhausting. You become emotional and you start to draw back from people. Then you start isolating yourself and probably crying all the time.

The first step is to write down your feelings and get it out internally so you can release the pain you’re feeling.

You don’t need to feel guilty or ashamed of what’s happening. There is a lot of people that are going through the same thing as you are. There are more than 51% divorce rate during the last few years.

Don't be afraid to reach out for help. Getting help is showing courage.

I want to help you avoid all that pain and mistakes I made. I want to help you get through the storm before you lose everything in the process.

I want you to know that there is a Life After Divorce.

The first step after a breakup is to file for a Separation. I created a step-by-step Took Kit to get you started. This will help you sort out your finances, get clarity, focus on your future and be able to make decision in the best interest for you and your children.

I added a few testimonials below to let you see how I help my clients get through their divorce.

You can reach out for a FREE consultation by email [email protected] or text me 416-312-6983.

I look forward to helping you make positive changes in your life.

Testimonial:

When my husband left, and I was faced with living alone for the first time in 30 years, I was at a loss as to what to do. So I ranted with friends and neighbors who didn’t want to take sides or get involved. I got angry and said things to my husband and my kids that I shouldn’t have. And I unsuccessfully tried to soothe my sorrows in food and drink.

Then I hired Patricia as my divorce coach. And, although I still do some things I regret, I do far less of them. And I better understand why I do them. She has saved me a lot of money that I would have spent on psychotherapy and lawyers! She is an excellent listener and meets me where I am at. She asks questions that enable me to think through what is going on and access my options. At times, she has encouraged me to slow down and process, while other times, when she sees that I am physically and psychologically ready to move on, she helps me do so.

Through her examples and gentle suggestions, I have learned the importance of self-acceptance and self-care. She has helped me analyze my communications to my husband and my kids and adjust so that all of us move forward. Although I still react emotionally at times, as a result of processing with her what went wrong, or planning for a future communication, I am better able to respond in accordance with my values and in a way that role models appropriate behavior to my kids.

I am still scared about what lies ahead. However, as a result of working with Patricia, I feel comfortable that no matter what happens, all of us will come through it ok, and will be able to gather together as a family. Most importantly, I will be happy as a single person, and have few regrets regarding the decisions I made and how I conducted myself during the transition.

Judy

Sometimes a major change in life comes along… that we really didn’t expect. This was the case for me. In this regard it triggered issues that I thought I dealt with long ago, but now they rose to the surface creating a constant… uneasy feeling. 

Patricia helped me unpack these feelings, holding space to acknowledge them ….but also providing the impetus to move forward. She has a number of courses and programs that can help you plan a new course with your life.

You know, …you can be an intuitive and caring person …but still be unable to see the steps that you are taking…. which are leading you down the same… predictable …path.

Knowing I had someone in my court who was there to listen and acknowledge me… was important. So was finding someone who can help guide me back to a place where I can reclaim my sense of  equanimity and calm. Patricia is someone… who can help you create a renewed ..sense …of purpose with your life.

You know, I think helping people is a gift you give to others. You need to be clear in your intentions and confident in yourself. You need to be genuine and have innate kindness and empathy for others. But you also need to be firm on what works and …what doesn’t… in guiding those you help.

You need someone who can listen without judgement and understand their key role in your life… is… to help you get past these roadblocks. Roadblocks which we sometimes unknowingly set up for ourselves.

Patricia will offer up fresh insights.

You can challenge her perceptions with no hint of her ego getting in the way.

She will help you realize there is so much more potential to who you are ….than what you can see now and she will help you realize what it is possible for you to do and achieve with your life.

I’m sure we all agree There is not a lot of constants in the world we live in today. Things change rapidly. People disappoint. Life moves in directions we did not expect to take.

Grappling with all this can be overwhelming. Having a coach on the sidelines who is able to discern the problems behind your issues and is someone who can help motivate you towards the changes you need to take…is invaluable in my opinion. 

Rosemary

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