Divorce and Its Double Standard: The Disproportionate Impact of Divorce on Women

There's been a lot of buzz on social media over a football player's college commencement speech about women being homemakers, and mothers first. That's all fine and good until the marriage becomes irretrievably broken. Personally, I was furious, because I see the underbelly of a horrific beast. Talk is cheap...and he talked a good game, but it isn't backed up in support for those very women when I meet them as a client of Divorce Right. So strap yourself in, cause I'm going on a rant!

Divorce is a life-altering event that can bring about significant changes and challenges for everyone involved, however, women often face the biggest obstacles. I've been studying and speaking and considered and expert on the impact of divorce on employees, and now, in this article, I explore how divorce disproportionately impacts women, highlighting the economic struggles, mental health challenges, and social stigma they often encounter.

Economic Struggles

Studies show that after a divorce, a woman's income can drop by around 30%, while men's income might only decrease by about 10%. This difference is largely because women often have interrupted career paths due to childcare responsibilities. you know, that stay at home mother and wife that kicker was talking about. The risk of falling into poverty increases dramatically for divorced women, especially those with limited work experience or education. This is where I take issue with him, and everyone that wants to talk big, but not follow through with supporting those very women. The governor of Florida recently reduced spousal support amounts and length, eliminating lifetime alimony entirely. I'm quite certain that football players wife will be financially well off should their marriage end, but for others, they cannot say the same. These financial challenges underscore the need for policies that provide better financial support and career opportunities for divorced women.? At a time in our politics where athletes are talking about women becoming housewives and mothers, and governors reducing alimony (or spousal support), it’s time we talk about how we MUST change the system, or at the very least, provide them with a professional to walk them not only through the legal issues, but supports them with financial education, finding affordable housing, and career education.?

Dr David Schramm Of Utah State University conducted two studies of importance around the financial impact of divorce on our government agencies.? The first, done for the State of Utah just over 20 years ago, showed that divorce cost the state of Utah $300,000,000 a year in additional government services like WIC programs, housing assistance, child care,? school lunches, transportation, etc.? He was then hired by the state of Texas about 10 years later (2013) ,? to conduct the same study.? The results?? Divorce cost the state of Texas $3,187,000,000 (yes, that’s BILLION) ? Do I have your attention now????? $3,100,000,000 in 2013 is worth $4,172,438,690.40 in 2024. Yes, you and I are paying for the bad deals that come when women step away from work to raise their family. ?So much for valuing our stay at home moms.

75% of women who file for welfare, do so as the result of a divorce. (read that line again) Our family law system is broken similarly to how our medical system is broken.? A few people get very rich on the backs of confused, angry? and stressed out people doing whatever they’re told to do, to get out of pain.?

Mental Health Challenges

The emotional toll of divorce on women can be overwhelming. Research indicates that divorced women experience higher levels of stress, anxiety, and depression than men. The societal expectations and pressures of single parenthood, which predominantly fall on women, make these mental health challenges even more daunting. Furthermore, the loss of social support networks, like in-laws, friends and even co-workers,? can intensify feelings of isolation and loneliness, making it harder for women to cope after a divorce.

Social Stigma

When a marriage is dissolved, often times a woman loses her social support system. Divorced women frequently face social stigmatization, particularly in religious and Asian cultures, affecting their social standing and opportunities for remarriage. Don't believe me? Watch a documentary called "UnOrthodox" or ask a woman from India, Afghanistan or Iraq. This stigma can further isolate women, making it difficult for them to rebuild their social lives and form new relationships.?

Policy Solutions and Support

To address these challenges, comprehensive support, such as divorce, life, money and career?coaching support and better policies are needed. I believe we can improve those numbers I shared a few paragraphs ago. If someone in the throes of a divorce could have a support system to help her make better decisions, to provide guidance and direction to keep them out of the hidden landmines of a divorce, her life could change for the better. Divorce coaches do that. Oh yes, and life coaches can help these women begin to find themselves again, build their self esteem and give them hope for their futures. Career coaches can guide her to a career that can support her in her new situation. Economic policies should focus on improving access to employment, providing adequate spousal and child support, and offering educational and vocational training. Strengthening social safety nets, such as affordable childcare, so she CAN work, can also help alleviate the financial burden on divorced women.

Mental health support is crucial. Providing counseling, support groups, and community-based programs can help reduce the psychological impact of divorce and lessen feelings of isolation. Legal reforms should ensure fairer distribution of assets and better enforcement of spousal and child support payments. Additionally, legal frameworks should support shared parenting arrangements that distribute childcare responsibilities more equitably.

Divorce hits women particularly hard, leading to economic instability, emotional distress, and social stigmatization. As a country, we must begin to have a conversation about the complexity of the system, the lack of education around ending a marriage without losing your entire life savings, the labyrinthine system that 99% of Americans can’t navigate on their own and the incredible fees paid to the very people who designed the system.??

If we as a country want to truly support women who choose to be homemakers and mothers, who make the sacrifice of their financial independence to stay at home, then we sure as hell need to do something to make sure they don't end up in poverty. It’s by acknowledging and addressing these challenges, we can work towards more equitable outcomes and support women as they rebuild their lives. With targeted policies, robust mental health services, and fair legal reforms, we can help ensure that divorced women receive the support they need to move forward with confidence and stability, with hope for their futures.

Rant over. Maybe.

References

1. Dr David Schramm, Utah State University. Economic costs and policy implications associated with divorce: Texas as a case study
2. Peterson, R. R. (1996). A re-evaluation of the economic consequences of divorce. American Sociological Review, 61(3), 528-536.
3. Holden, K. C., & Smock, P. J. (1991). The economic costs of marital disruption: Why do women bear a disproportionate cost? Annual Review of Sociology, 17(1), 51-78.
4. Amato, P. R. (2000). The consequences of divorce for adults and children. Journal of Marriage and Family, 62(4), 1269-1287.
5. Kitson, G. C., & Morgan, L. A. (1990). The multiple consequences of divorce: A decade review. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 52(4), 913-924.
6. Cancian, M., & Meyer, D. R. (1998). Who gets custody? Demographic and socioeconomic predictors of custodial arrangements. Demography, 35(2), 147-157.
7. Tamborini, C. R., Couch, K. A., & Reznik, G. L. (2015). Long-term impact of divorce on women's earnings. Demography, 52(1), 138-154.
8. Killewald, A., & Gough, M. (2017). Does the motherhood penalty persist across the earnings distribution? Journal of Marriage and Family, 79(3), 883-899.
9. Leopold, T. (2018). Gender differences in the consequences of divorce: A study of multiple outcomes. Demography, 55(3), 769-797.
10. Parker, K., & Wang, W. (2020). How the coronavirus outbreak has – and hasn’t – changed the way Americans work. Pew Research Center.
11. Grall, T. (2019). Custodial mothers and fathers and their child support: 2015. U.S. Census Bureau.
12. Ono, H., & Raymo, J. M. (2021). Household division of labor and divorce in Japan. Journal of Marriage and Family, 83(1), 111-127.