The Divine Power of Forgiveness

What Does it Take to Forgive Others?

As part of my energy coaching work, I encounter many clients who, for often justifiable reasons, find it hard to forgive past transgressions. I fully understand; they consider it their right and duty to feel enraged, hurt, offended, bitter and angry. Sometimes these hurts do go deep and inflict scars, sometimes physical, but mostly mental and emotional.

When I challenge them to let go of these, to exonerate and forgive, they look at me shocked or upset that I should even ask them, let alone encourage them to do so.?Forgiveness can seem to be a hard pill to swallow. But when I let them know that forgiveness, rather than relinquishing power over the situation, is actually taking back their power, their interest is piqued.

By not forgiving, not letting go of the past wrongs and transgressions against us, we keep ourselves trapped in a negative vortex of emotions, that enervate, burden and cripple us and prevent us from moving forward in life. It eats us up inside, like a cancerous growth, making us sick emotionally, spiritually and even physically.

Reclaim Your Peace & Power

In terms of the Law of Cause & Effect and the Law of Attraction a negative, angry or vengeful disposition attracts more of the same from others. We allow more events and people in our lives that perpetuate the cycle of wrongdoing, insult and injury.?Moreover, continually focusing on past wrongs robs us of peace of mind and calm in the present moment and our ability to create positive momentum in our life. It obfuscates our ability to think and act clearly, to be expansive and true to our innate nature of compassion and love – because we are made in God’s image. ?Hence, in forgiving we reclaim our power to be at peace, to be at one with ourselves, to be in control, not acceding to the negative emotions of anger, resentment, bitterness or fear.

Forgiveness can be as much a healing gesture for the aggrieved as it is for the transgressor. It warrants a character of resilience, fortitude, compassion and mercy. It takes us out of the negative spiral of emotions that is stoked and fed by indignation, insult and injury.?Forgiveness is not forgetting, but it’s a clear, conscious decision to move on with our lives. So whenever feelings of righteousness and indignation bubble up in connection with the person or event that has triggered them, you must learn to look these feelings in the face, show them the back door and shoo them out. They are in conflict with what you want to achieve and desire in your life. For you need to know and understand that a life of abundance and fulfilment can only occur when you yield to love and compassion rather than hate, anger, distress and revenge.

Self-Forgiveness

On the other side of the coin is forgiveness of self. I bitterly regret the time when I told my mum she didn’t need a wheelchair when we rushed across a busy Malaga airport to reach the departure gate to get our flight home to Cardiff, South Wales. Too late afterwards, it dawned on me that my stoic mother must have been in considerable pain and discomfort since she rarely asks for help.?Little did I know then that she would only have 2 more weeks to live.?Many months after her death I found it difficult to let go of the shame, self-recrimination and regret of not listening to her and acceding to her wishes.

Sometimes self-forgiveness can be more challenging than forgiveness of others. I suffered for quite a long while after the passing of my mum, my inner peace destroyed. But with much self-probing and reflection, I realised that would be the last thing my mother would have wanted and she would have been the first to forgive me if she’d had the chance.

Indeed, a beautiful quote comes to mind to support me in my self-forgiveness:

I think if God forgives us we must forgive ourselves. Otherwise it is almost like setting up ourselves as a higher tribunal than him. CS Lewis

A Divine Act

So remember to forgive is a powerful act of God that we can pay forward to ourselves and others. By forgiving we can enjoy healthier relationships and improved emotional, mental and physical health. It reduces stress, anxiety, hostility and the risk of depression. It lowers blood pressure and boosts our immune system, heart health and self-esteem.

So I will conclude with the following powerful quote by Lewis B Smedes:

To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover the prisoner was you.

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