Diversity and Inclusion? It's a Symphony, to me.
I have been asked and approached by many friends and colleagues, "Clint - we could use your input on building a D&I Program; Council; Committee; ERG; Anti-Bias Talent Acquisition. Can you help us?"
So, my dear friends, allies, colleagues, family, and loved ones, you have truly blessed me for the asking. Because - eight years ago, I had two generous people use their airline flight miles to get me out of a traumatic situation. Out of Hawaii. They saw pain, reached out, and flew me out of a sexually and mentally abusive relationship. They saw a glimmer of hope still resting somewhere inside of Clinton Shane Bradley.
I hope you read this to understand my vulnerability, passion, purpose, personal values, and vision for creating a multi-culturally, safe, and wonderfully thriving workspace. Because work - has a texture, a moment, a harmony, a rhythm, a symphony. Work is a beautifully orchestrated symphony, creating a circadian rhythm of purpose through belonging.
Now, please don't feel sorry or pity for me as you read this. Please. The mere thought that I could upset you in any way, distracting you from the unbroken hope that is my story, would devastate me. No, I hope that you will read, listen, see, and feel the hope that resides in my story.
Hope. Hope is what I received eight years ago when I moved in with my friends off 39th Street in Kansas City, Missouri. She - had just finished her law degree from UMKC and was starting on her journey. She immediately asked me to join the local group she was coordinating for the Obama Campaign. He - was finishing his Ph.D. from KU with an emphasis on Autism Studies. He would often ask for me to put my impeccable typing skills to use. If I may - they are both quite possibly the most loving, kindest, smartest, and compassionate people I know, and I call them brother and sister. They are my family.
"Are they your real brother and sister?" you might ask. No. My biological family and I have struggled over the course of many years. Unfortunately, it is due to a misguided, and at times dangerous, misinterpretation of life. My sexuality doesn't fit into their value system - their circadian rhythm of family and life. See - that works for them, and that's okay. However, I've come to understand that through acceptance, forgiveness, and empathy, I can move on to the groove of my rhythm. It is A rhythm that works for me and my being—the steady beat of my drum.
Off 39th Street is where I would begin my first phase of healing. It is where I would start discovering who I can be on my own. I would begin to break free from my chains of codependency. I connected with a therapist who specializes in Cognitive-Based Behavioral Therapy. Off 39th Street and onto Linwood Boulevard is how I would make my way down to the Kansas City Veterans Medical Center. The KCVMC, three times a week, is where I would begin healing from a fresh wound. It is also where I would discover cardio-vascular disease.
Broken Heart Syndrome - Broken heart syndrome is a temporary heart condition that's often caused by stressful situations and extreme emotions. A severe physical illness or surgery can also trigger the disease. It may also be called stress cardiomyopathy, takotsubo cardiomyopathy, or apical ballooning syndrome.
People with broken heart syndrome may have sudden chest pain or think they're having a heart attack. Broken heart syndrome affects just part of the heart, temporarily disrupting your heart's normal pumping function. The rest of the heart continues to function normally or may even have more forceful contractions. The symptoms of broken heart syndrome are treatable, and the condition usually reverses itself in days or weeks. So, it goes away, right?
Well, you see, this was not my first wound. Remember, when I described my family as having a "dangerous misinterpretation of life?" Many years ago, together, we decided that ten years of traumatic, fundamental, bible-based "conversion" therapy could cure my "sin".
I met with pseudo-therapists persuaded and misguided to believe that "de-gaying" someone can have a significant impact. Well, they were right. It does have a "real" significant impact. It impacts someone's mental, emotional, and physical health.
The prolonged state I placed my heart in for so many years, caused some irreversible damage. I was going to begin the process of receiving a pace-maker. I received the gift of "Sparky" three years ago. So, from my pace-maker, Sparky, and I, thank you. Thank you, tax-payers, for helping heal my heart.
When I meditate on gratitude and feel my heart's beat, I give thanks to all humans who played a small part in my receiving the rhythm of life.
Now, onto what I can bring to the table when it comes to Diversity & Inclusion in your organization. Deep breaths, dry your eyes, and tell yourself, "I am grateful to be here, and I am thankful that someone loves and appreciates my work."
Where do we begin? The most critical self-aware question to ask. Because, like my life has many stories and journeys, you have to have a beginning. It's a vulnerable place to be as you look down through the gateways of many paths, courses, and trails. Starting on a new, uncharted course can make you susceptible to attack and injury. Because you immediately realize you don't have the right tools, supplies, materials, relationships, to help guide and protect you along the way.
Please, don't panic! Expect the expected. You are going to fail a few, several, many times. That's okay. Those are the opportunities to reach out to the communities and partners you've carefully cultivated, and who will help you embrace the challenges that lie ahead. I guess what I'm trying to say is, "You are not alone!"
Pillars. I believe every foundation begins with a good set of pillars—a place to start building. Pillars are what keep your symphony of work housed under a beautifully ornate theater. Your workplace. A purpose for you, a stepping stone for some, a calling for others, a sanctuary for most. Having the right pillars in place creates a safe space where everyone can thrive together—your symphony of belonging.
- Kindness. This pillar allows us to be open to others'. Kindness is a primary support column for your theater. This pillar supports the right relationships, in the right way, with the right mindset, with the right attitudes. "You can catch more bees with honey than vinegar," I'd often hear my teachers say. What an annoying statement to a seventeen-year-old, right? However, they were right.
Becoming aware of your conscious approach to the D&I space takes great responsibility, and you'll need to be emotionally, mentally, and physically healthy enough for the journey you're about to take. Because to prepare for this journey means change, and lifestyle choices will be required.
Can you survive the journey? Can you face the obstacles? Can you listen to proper guidance? Can you be alone? Can you be uncomfortable? Can you be without? Can you be a minority?
Kindness allows for safety. Kindness allows for safe-haven. Kindness allows for fairness, equity, equality, inclusion, diversity, belonging, love, joy, happiness, peace, harmony. Kindness allows for belonging. Kindness will enable you to be genuinely open to your journey. To be open means you will need to listen with conscious awareness and without judgment.
Together, we'll open up the pages of music to your work, purpose, and symphony. Take the conductor's baton and gently tap the words, "Shall we take our places, everyone?" You won't even have to say a word, because they hear your gentle tap that starts the different winded instruments to begin blending with the strings while remaining consciously aware, led by the beating of the drums - the heartbeat.
You are playing music altogether. You have allowed Kindness - the centerpiece on the table set within your organization's heart, to be the instrument for listening and openness - thus creating mutual respect and understanding, creating the start of your workplaces' circadian rhythm. You are intently listening to the stories of your people. This pillar is where you allow yourself to be vulnerable, open, and listen without judgment. Together, you've created music and the first note, Kindness.
- Empathy. This pillar allows us to feel, but with real intent. Because to feel means we're listening, which means we're allowing ourselves to open up and touch, feel the texture, of another human's pain, joy, happiness, hopelessness, and trauma.
It's a wave of emotion when getting through the first few steps into your journey. The first few steps are the absolute worst. They are the longest. They are the hardest. They are the most painful.
I remember a particular moment as an Associate Pastor of a Freewill Baptist Church in Oilton, Oklahoma when a question came up during a choir meeting regarding the change from "Hymns" to "Praise & Worship" music. You would've thought I asked them to begin worshiping me. The deacons and women's auxiliary were so upset with me. Why were they so angry?
Tradition. Tradition, identity, history, and culture are core when it comes to embracing empathy. I have recently made a re-connection with a distant family member and discovered I have a great grandfather who served in the United States Navy but enlisted as "white" because he was ashamed of his Cherokee blood. Soon after his passing at a young age, his wife, my great grandmother, went back to college at the University of Tulsa. She received a degree in education and found purpose in teaching literacy on the Indian Reservations. My family has a rich history in Oklahoma. Or, Indian Territory, as once referred.
Change is hard because there is a tradition. Tradition has pain and suffering. Tradition has fear and caution. Tradition has comfort and healing. Everyone must determine for themselves, and their organizations, what kind of traditions they want to create and safely continue on this wave of diverse human emotion. You will need to determine how to proceed carefully and effectively through the music. You will need to focus on the steady rhythms, preparing you for the emotional journey as you climb towards the musical climax.
- Advocacy. The dance - this is where your intention brings about understanding and hope. This dance is where your pillars meet to protect the traditions of belonging you so carefully crafted and created. It is where you allow your people's authenticity to come together and patiently create a beautiful dance, designed explicitly by your leadership, your advocacy.
There are many hurting people in the world, and at times all it takes is an advocate to turn things around for them. When you are open, and consciously aware that you are about to feel uncomfortable, you will want to find healthy ways to navigate the raw emotion to feel hope and belonging. You will need to embrace, "Expect the Expected." You will need to find protective methods and ways to keep your traditions sacred and thriving while advocating belonging for all while remaining consciously aware.
Advocacy will not be easy. An advocate is a volunteer who steps up when others lack confidence. An advocate is a leader who stands still and says, "Are we doing everything right. For everyone?"
I remember when I swore into the United States Air Force and volunteered for three international deployments to the Middle-East. I volunteered when no one thought a "sissy boy" from Silver City, Oklahoma, could do it.
An advocate stands amid strong military leadership and asks, "Can I start a Don't Ask, Don't Tell Focus Group?"
Also, an Advocate can dance. A dance takes time to learn and understand. Dances have traditions in each step and every movement - every beat. You'll have to work together and figure out how your advocacy will bring not only the technical element to the dance but the artistry and image.
I am grateful for the two advocates who listened and felt something for me, off 39th Street. My advocates helped me begin building a house for healing for all. My advocates continue helping me conduct a beautifully crafted piece of music—my rhythm of life.
Now - How may I be your Advocate, Maestro?
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