Ditch The Tech For The Holidays

Anyone who knows me knows how much I love technology. I love knowing all about the latest and greatest "thing" and what's coming next.

And at the same time, I think tech can be a real problem in our society. We have people who are addicted to their phones and tablets. And let me assure you that as a woman who has been sober for more than 10 years, I do not use the word "addicted" lightly. I truly mean that people are addicted to their devices and the content (particularly social media) they access with it.?

My husband and I were at a restaurant, seated next to a family of four (two adults and two young teens or tweens), who spent the entire dinner looking at their phones - all four of them. The only time they spoke was when placing their orders or responding to questions from their server. Anyone with kids of this age knows that it isn't always easy to have a conversation with them, but having everyone focused on their phones makes it even harder.?

I had another recent experience at the theater watching a live performance, and two people in the row in front of me were scrolling through Facebook.

I sat there wondering, Why do you have to do that right now? Why bother paying for a ticket to a live event just to spend it on social media?

And it wasn't just a quick check – they spent at least 25% of the show looking at social media. And clearly it distracted me and others around them from enjoying the performance.?

And it doesn't stop with social events. I was recently at a conference, and at least a dozen people I could see from where I was sitting were focused on their phones, not the presenter that they both paid money and traveled to hear. Why? It wasn't urgent because at least half were looking at social media.??

I really think we have lost some of our ability to connect with other people and make conversation. It's time to get that back, both at work and at home.?

As we approach another holiday where we are typically surrounded by family and friends, I want to encourage you to add some "tech free" time to your schedule. Encourage your family to do the same. (And yes, I get the irony that you will have to use your tech to both add this to the schedule and remind you when it is time!)?

If your family is like mine, you will have multiple generations together in person for the holidays. For my family, Christmas means we will have people from 18 months to 83 years in one room together. There will never be another year exactly like this one. Whether or not you lose or gain a family member during the year, it still will be different as we all change from year to year.??

This year, try something different. Provide a basket or box and ask everyone to put their phone in (make sure ringers are turned off first). When everyone is freed from their devices, do something non-electronic. Play a board game. Make cookies. Ask each other "get to know you" questions. Not sure what to ask? Here are a few ideas to get you started:?

• What's one of your favorite childhood memories??
• If you could visit one place in the world, where would it be and why??
• What was the worst job you ever had??
• If you could have one talent that you don't have now, what would it be??
• What book left a lasting impression on you and why??

Those are just a few ideas to get you started. Any open-ended questions will do (well, you probably want to avoid religion and politics unless you know everyone is aligned in their beliefs).??

You probably need to start slow. Don't ask people to give up their devices for the entire day. Just an hour or two is a good starting point.?

Since your phone is also your camera, it's fine to have it on hand at some point to capture pictures, but you don't have to have it all the time.?

If you take these breaks from electronics, I'd love you to share your experience in the comments. How did it go when you introduced it? What was the benefit of doing it???

This Christmas, I am going to do this with my family. I haven't told them this yet, but I will report back next year on how it goes.??

I hope you all have a wonderful holiday season! I will be back in January with new newsletters.?