Ditch The Resolutions!

The year of self care! Time for a kinder, gentler approach.

Happy New Year! I think we are all happy to kiss 2020 good bye.

Ever joined a gym on January 1 only to go a few times before quitting? Or started a “diet” and by the end of the week were back to your old habits? I have done this so many times I can’t count. I have done them as a “resolution” for the new year and as a declaration other times of year. If changing my lifestyle was my goal, I have struck out too many times to count when I do it as some kind of life goal.

Resolutions just don’t work! 2020 was a year like no other. I think it’s time for a year of self- care. A year of self-love. Grace.

My theme for this year is to be kinder to myself. Love myself more. It sounds a bit hokey or maybe narcissistic. But there is a big difference between strutting or bragging and being loving to yourself.

Self-esteem is at record lows in the US. Especially among kids. 80% of kids in kindergarten have positive self esteem, that means that sadly 20% do not. By 5th grade only 20% have good self esteem and by senior year in high school only 5% do. And the unkind thoughts and words we say to ourselves when we are young continue to reverberate into adulthood.

In my study of the science of happiness I have been more intentional listening to the voices in my head. Hey, admit it! You have them too. In fact we all have about 60 thousand thoughts a day. Those are those pesky good and bad voices in our own mind.

When I pay attention, even now I am shocked at hearing my self critic. “That was stupid, Betsy.” “You look fat in that.” “You are just not good at this kind thing.” Or my favorite, “I am an idiot.”

So, this year I have a thought. I am going to make my list of 21 for 2021.

These would not be all or nothing things or things to accomplish or goals to hit or anything like that. These would be moving in the direction of growth, not change. Resolutions are about changing something. I want to grow, not change. Subtle, but trying to change myself at this old age seems hard.

One of my core principles in life is to always and forever learn and grow. These 21 things would be aimed at growth, not change. And yet, when done with self-love and compassion in mind will lead to change.

It would be things we can add to our life, wish items, things to think about doing less of or more of or things we want to do. But all of them will be around thinking about ways to take care of myself. 

These are not pass/fail or all or nothing things. These are just things to raise my consciousness around that I want to improve. There is no accountability required.

They would be things like:

Drink more tea ( I like this as it feels more quiet and like a ritual than drinking water or sparkling water. More mediative).

Consciously be more gentle with myself. Notice my own self critic and thank her for thoughts, but counter with a new thought.

Be more conscious about telling people in my life how and why I appreciate them.

Work on getting in bed to fall asleep earlier, preferably by 10:30.

I want to find some way to make it easier to read in my bed….maybe a floor lamp.

And then I want to read more….real books, not just kindle. Something about reading a good old book feels self caring.

I want to clean out my storage locker and see what all is in there. 

I want to do my twice annual purge of 21 things a day for 9 days straight.

I want to pat myself on the back when I accomplish something….even small things. I tend to be more aware of things I haven’t done than those I have done. I want to change that ratio. And actively celebrate my wins.

I want to get back to Chicago to see friends and family sometime when it’s safe.

I want to spend time in Ojai again. 

I am doing my Year of Miracles again…and I want to be better at writing down all the big and little miracles each week so I don’t forget by Sunday when I meet with my miracles mastermind group. (Want to learn about it, the link is below!)

I want to meet more people through networking (online for now) and connect with more like minded people.

Anyway, you get the idea. There are not resolutions or rules or HAVING to do something…just ideas I want to be more conscious of all year. I would love to have you join me!

And let’s make 2021 the BEST year ever.

Betsy Smith, Certified Happy For No Reason trainer and coach

PS. If you are interested in learning more about the Year of Miracles which I have been doing for about 7 years and LOVE, here is a link for more. It has been life changing for me. You can get a free miracles ebook too!

https://au384.isrefer.com/go/ebook/a579