Ditch the Balance, Embrace Harmony: Your Path to Better Mental Health

At 10:00 p.m. I was finally shutting my computer after an 11-hour workday. I was exhausted. My to-do list kept getting longer, I still had to prep for a rare Saturday work call, I needed to go to the doctor, I wanted to work out. My head was spinning.

It was just too much.

When was I going to find time for myself?

I looked up and asked the magical goddess of work-life balance to grant me my wish.

At that very moment I thought maybe work-life balance is the wrong thing to be focused on.

Maybe there is something else I should be looking for, something that would ease my stress and give me more personal time.

If I could find that, I’d be golden!

Here’s what I know:

I’ve interviewed hundreds of awesome, smart, successful, amazing professional women about what they want for their lives and careers.

And here’s what they say:

• I want to do work I enjoy.
• I want a job that gives me purpose.
• I want to work at a company that appreciates me and shares my values.
• I want to be healthy.
• I want enough time and energy to take care of my family.
• I need flexibility in my life.
• Mental health is a top priority for me.

Sound familiar?

In a recent conversation with one of these amazing women, I asked her what she wanted for her life. When she declared, “I want my life to be in harmony” I thought to myself wow, I love that.

My next question: “Tell me more about that.”

What she said next was life-changing. She said, “I have never liked the idea of work-life balance. I picture a scale, and when one side goes up, the other goes down. That doesn’t make sense to me.”

I found it interesting because the idea of work-life balance never resonated with me either, but I couldn’t figure out why. The picture I get in my head is of a woman on a balance beam, teetering from one side to the other, trying not to fall off. — I mean who do we think we are, Simone Biles?

I had to ask myself: Is that really what I want for my life? Teetering from one side to the other, just trying to hang on?

Absolutely not.

Does the idea that having more of one thing means having less of another sound strange to you? Does it seem limiting, stressful, and frankly, unhealthy?

Yeah is sounds like that to me too.

— I want my life to be expansive and joyful.

— I want to do fulfilling work that fits into my life.

— I want to work with companies that align with my values.

— I want to have lunch with friends on a Tuesday at 2:00.

— I want flexibility in my life.

If you are anything like me your list of wants is probably similar to mine.

So why are we all striving for work-life balance?

When you Google “harmony” as it relates to work-life balance, this is what you find:

Harmony refers to a state where work and personal life are seamlessly integrated, allowing for a fulfilling experience in both spheres, rather than strictly dividing time between them. It emphasizes finding a cohesive rhythm between professional and personal responsibilities, promoting overall well-being and satisfaction without feeling like one aspect is constantly sacrificing for the other.

I don’t know about you but that sounds amazing to me.

How would you feel if your life were in harmony?

Imagine…. you have an overall sense of well-being and satisfaction. Your work and personal life are integrated, and you incorporate your work into the rest of your life. You feel joyful at home and at work because you aren’t dividing your time between your personal life and your work life. You have a sense of calm because your life has a rhythm.

Doesn’t that sound fantastic?

So ask yourself: What would harmony look like for you?

Picture waking up energized. You’re working on a climate change campaign for your client. This project resonates deeply with you. You’ve been concerned about the environment for years, and working on this project allows you to integrate your passion and values into your work, and that is a dream come true.

You finally have the flexibility to be in the office or work from home as you need. Now you can be home in the afternoon to greet your kids when they get off the school bus. You can take your favorite morning Pilates class and get your haircut on Thursday at 3:00.

So, how can you achieve harmony in your life?

First acknowledge that finding harmony is a choice. It starts with shifting your mindset. Your life is not a balancing act. Giving 80% to one part of your life and 20% to another isn’t realistic. Your work and life are integrated. So why not start living that way?

Make a list of what you need to have a harmonious life that includes your emotions —-Joy, fulfillment, health, and a sense of calm might very well be key components of what you need to live harmoniously. — I’m giving you permission to include all of that and more into your vision; a sense of calm, joy, health and wellness —include all of it.

Next take time to list what’s important to you—both for your career and your life. Include all of it. Really ask yourself what you need. Do you need to workout every day to feel sane? Do you need to work from home some days to take care of your family? Do you need 20 minutes every day to get outside, or to eat lunch. It all matters if it’s important to you.

Then, list what you’re spending time on and classify your time into two categories: What’s important and what’s not.

Are you wasting time on what’s not important or are you spending enough time on the things that are important to you?

Choose to shift that balance, focusing more on what’s important, including the things that bring you joy and fulfillment. Know that there are going to be some things that are on your list that have to be done but aren’t important to you. That’s okay, we all have to do laundry.

I promise that if you list out what’s really important to you and shift your time and focus on those things, you will find more harmony in your life.

Thursday, October 10th was World Mental Health Day. In honor of that day, I invite you to pick one thing that’s important to you and focus more of your energy on that.

Allow yourself to find harmony in your life.

I’m a wellness coach that helps people do work they enjoy and eat food that gives them energy so they can enjoy their whole life.

Are you ready to harmonize your life? robinfischman.coach