Disturbing behaviors (unrecognized)

I recently stumbled on a 48Hours episode where the pre-incident behaviors were eerily familiar. Not long into Becky and Tim Bliefnick's relationship, his concerning behaviors began. These included a desire for extreme control of his wife, fits of rage, acts of property violence and a willingness to scream and curse at his wife in front of their children - all common precursors to alienating behaviors after a divorce. Unfortunately for the family in Quincy, Illinois; that train wreck did NOT end with parental alienation: it ended in murder.

Here's the link to that episode.

Beyond the deep sadness for this family, I feel an anger at the court system which seems to be only sporadically competent in the critical thinking that is required by many OTHER professionals in less impactful jobs! This behavior (controlling behaviors and verbal/emotional abuse) is not unusual or rare. When it doesn't escalate into murder, it often results in the abuse often referred to as parental alienation, where it seems to be unrecognizable to the official decision-makers in children's lives.

According to the experts in psychology specific to alienating behaviors, the actions of alienators have nothing to do with the best interests of the children, even though that is what they claim. The actions of alienation are intended to do harm to the former spouse/partner.

These behaviors deeply harm the children being used as a weapon (see my previous articles on alienation), and they indeed inflict harm on the former partner. The only thing WORSE than having your child(ren) turned against you with lies and manipulation is watching as your child is used as a weapon of choice by the abuser. No longer able to rage for hours at their partner, throw things in the house or call them names to degrade them, this is how they continue to hurt them, and is their 2nd-to-last revenge option. The horrible example in the YouTube video represents the final option for revenge, as seen in another case summarized in this video.

I accuse the court system (family court) of being clueless about the violence against the other spouse that is parental alienation, as well as seeming to ignore the terrible legacy it leaves to the children caught up in it.

In one case, concerns were raised (through attorneys) about being stalked by unknown males who, in separate vehicles, formed a sort of "posse" with her former spouse at child "exchange" time in a local, very public parking lot. The court's answer was to move the exchanges to the local police station, which was an acceptable option, BUT everyone seemed to lose the information contained within these incidents as the case continued. There was seemingly no ability (by the court professionals) to string along a complex timeline of events that showed a history of menacing and potential violence (especially when combined with testimony about years of verbal and emotional abuse).

"The child is settled with (their abuser) now, so we don't want to disrupt them by restoring custody to the mother, even though there are no issues with the mother."

Meanwhile, the sibling of the alienated child, who was rejected by the alienator for refusing to buy into the BS that was being peddled, is living with the r/t parent and THRIVING.

Here's the dynamic: two kids, who lived in the same household for 12 years, and who were close as siblings. The mentally-ill parent (alienator) abducted the younger child, hiding them from the other parent (rejected/targeted (r/t) parent) and for years poisoned them against the r/t parent - along with a LOT of help from an equally unbalanced and toxic new partner. The alienated child is compromised emotionally, psychologically and physically - while the child that gave a middle finger to the abductor is healthy emotionally, psychologically (according to professionals) and has healthy relationships, success in multiple activities, and a bright future.

But we can't make any comparisons because "kids are different".

OK, how about looking at the environments? One is very clearly more supportive of healthy children than the other,... but sure - staying in an abusive and dysfunctional environment is preferable to the "disruption" of moving back into a loving and stable one.

When there is gross negligence and a continued demonstration of ignorance in the fields of their alleged expertise, appeal is inadequate as a remedy. We should be able to sue judges and forensic evaluators until they cannot afford to buy underwear at a thrift store.

According to experts, most alienators have a Cluster B personality disorder, and many are narcissists.

Check out this YT Short for a quick summary of the typical reaction of a narcissist when they are left in a divorce or break-up:

https://youtube.com/shorts/d-icDJTDV4E?si=U1EVMYXypEBfhAqf