Distorted Reality

Several years ago, I bought a new Samsung phone. It came with a pair of virtual reality (VR) goggles. Being a lifelong technophile, I tore open the box the second it arrived on my doorstep and gazed at the glorious, freakishly huge, plastic goggles staring back at me.

It took a few hours to charge.

As soon as it was done, I snapped my new phone into the goggles and strapped the contraption to my face.

The first VR app I launched was a roller coaster simulator. I was anticipating the video quality to mimic reality. Unfortunately, the graphics were a joke and I remember being both angry and disappointed.

Despite the terrible, cartoonish graphics, the experience was real enough that when the roller coaster did a corkscrew, I fell over and hit my head against the wall.

That experience got me thinking about “reality” and how easily it can be distorted.

If you’ve read my other posts, you’re probably aware that I’ve struggled with depression for years. Depression, like VR goggles, can distort reality.

Let me give you an example.

From the time I was a freshman in high school until only a few years ago, I used to think I was “the ugliest person in the world.” I used the phrase so often (in my head), I should have trademarked it!

In high school, I rarely talked to girls. I figured they’d rather eat balut (look it up) than talk to “the ugliest person in the world.”

College wasn’t much better. I dated a few people. I even got married! But I was still 99% convinced that I was “the ugliest person in the world.”

On one occasion, when I was in a particularly deep reality distortion, I remember telling my wife, “I’m the ugliest person in the world.” Her response was, “Do you think I would marry the ugliest person in the world?”

For a split second, “reality” flickered and I asked myself, “Is it possible that I’m not seeing things clearly?” I could feel the cognitive dissonance bubbling up inside me (it wasn’t the first time).

But in true, proud-to-be-depressed fashion, I punched the cognitive dissonance in the face, crawled back into my shell, and clutched my distorted reality blankie.

Fortunately, a few years later, I started working with life coaches. They gave me the tools, perspective, and support I needed to look past the endless distortions.

I no longer think I’m “the ugliest person in the world.” That was a reality distortion that contributed to my depression. I’m also not Brad Pitt or David Lee Roth (that’s for the 80s fanatics that might be reading this post!). And that’s ok. I’m comfortable with who I am.

I know there are thousands, if not millions, of people out there that think they hold the “ugliest person in the world” title, just like I did. Maybe a few of you are reading this post. And if you don’t suffer from the “I’m the ugliest person in the world” distortion, you might suffer from other distortions, like:

“I don’t make enough money.”

“I’m not smart enough.”

“I’m not strong enough.”

“I’m not skinny enough.”

The list goes on and on. I've struggled with most of them myself.

We’re all looking for clarity, balance, and presence in our lives. I promise you it’s out there. But sometimes you need help finding it. And believe me, it’s worth the effort.

If you think you’re “the ugliest person in the world,” or feel like your life is controlled by other reality distortions, let’s talk. Life's too short to live in a distorted reality. Shoot me a DM or email me at [email protected]. ??

And please consider joining my “Live Unstuck” Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/283129656440910